Mamma….you know I love you


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Mamma, YOU abandoned our ship. (in case you missed it CANCER WON Mamma lost)

Remember how excited you were to plan our September holiday? Remember how excited you were when I called with the news about the resident alien? Remember how excited you were when you decided we should go on a boat cruise to Namibia? And we were planning for 2017 because we had to wait for the resident alien to arrive? I remember the very first time we drove, me being the driver, on the N1 highway in Cape Town. I was the learner driver, you were the licensed driver – although you never drove. That was just the start of our many drives and adventures. Just the two of us. I miss those drives – which never really had a particular destination.

Then I moved to Pretoria. And we stayed in touch via the phone. Since 2015 you even started using whatsapp – I was so proud of you – keeping in touch with me and technology. You visited and often stayed for 3 months at a time. It wasn’t perfect but we loved you nonetheless. We argued/disagreed/fought but still remained true and loyal to one another. Nothing and no one could break our bond. Our droves continued in Pretoria.

Then started my morning peak hour drive conversations with you. Almost daily we spent an hour talking whilst I was in transit – don’t worry you were on “speaker phone”. When I changed my job to work 7kms from home that hour long conversation was still an hour –  only difference is I used to sit in the parking lot finishing my conversation with you. So many times I was late for work – not because of traffic but because I had to finish my conversation with you. And it was SO worth it. Our random ramblings, some things trivial and some so important and meaningful to us.

Well things have changed. “Life happens when you are making other plans… John Lennon” My LIFE has changed. YOU are no longer here to physically share it with me or my family. We miss. I MISS you. Always! They say that grief gets better with time. I say it doesn’t. We just find ways to live and/or cope with the grief.

Who knew that our holiday in April 2016 would have been our last one together. That this was one of our last breakfasts together.breakfast

That week was so special. One week of just the two of us alone at night, once more sharing a bed. Much like the last week before you became an angel. Just the two of us. A game of Checkers we played – And YOU won. A game of Putt Putt we played in the afternoon rain. And then you chickened out of our night swim that you requested. Was it because you were scared I would see your lump?  Our last supper – your infamous roosterkoekdinner

We talked and laughed so much that night that we hardly slept. The boys came knocking on our door to wake us for breakfast the next day. Those memories are forever in my heart and soul.

Losing you was one of the hardest things that I have to deal with. You are forever etched in my heart, mind and soul. I am a part of you as much as you are a part of me. Your last message to me was cryptic. I still don’t understand but perhaps with time all will be revealed.

Thank you for what you have done for me. But also for what you have taught me. I will do that Namibian boat cruise for you. For us. 

Love and miss you ALWAYS!


Spirited Mama

P.S. I sometimes wonder now that you are an angel are you spending time with my resident alien?


Blog content


I have been asked before how I come up with content for my blog. Because sometimes it is witty/funny/helpful and who would have known informative. Well the answer is simple really….

My content is my real life experiences. No really the very thing that you are laughing at is actual events in my life. Sometimes I read my own posts and think whoa I wish that was fiction but then I think I wouldn’t be a Spirited Mama without my Spirited family in My spirited life.

I started my blog as a cheaper alternative to therapy. And yes it has been liberating but it is also an honest reflection of my life as well as my choices in life.

So stick around if you fancy a laugh because I can guarantee it’ll be cheaper than visiting a therapist. You know they say that we all carry our own cross/burden/load well sometimes hearing what others are facing in life can make your load seem lighter.

Spirited Mama

Pass the toilet paper

We go through a crap load of toilet paper monthly and we are only 2 adults and 1 child + resident alien in utero in the Spirited house. I am flabbergasted at the copious amounts of toilet paper we flush away. You know I can literally hear the “ka-ching” sound when I hear the toilet flush.

Considering how I was constipated for the first 4 months of this pregnancy (thankfully that is no longer an issue), I am starting to wonder  can I really make such a big difference in the usage of toilet paper. I pee ALOT. Like all the time. I only buy BabySoft and believe me I have tried to sneak in other brands BUT my family knows the difference. Have you seen the price tag on Toilet Paper??? It costs a fucking fortune only for you to wipe your ass and flush that fortune down the toilet. Literally!

Alas, I will continue to buy the BabySoft as I do think that there are certain “luxuries” that we deserve. We all have certain luxuries/privileges that we are not willing to forgo just to save a buck. (Do you know that my Dude believes he can only eat Woolworths cheese and that Dudie seems to think that he can only eat Lays chips? A post on luxuries/privileges best left for another day.)

Some days I think if the toilet really made the “ka-ching” sound when you flushed it would sound like a Casino in our house.

On that note let me go use the toilet. Please pass the toilet paper.


Spirited Mama

P.S It’s FRIDAY!!!!! I just sat through Dudie’s music concert at school – it was cute to watch the little people perform for the audience. Seems my resident alien enjoyed the music too.

Today is rough


(Really can’t remember where I got this quote from but I’m sure you will find it on Google)

Today is rough. I am still raw with emotion but getting better. I actually didn’t realise how raw my emotional hurt for Mamma still was…. The hurt, the pain, the longing for Mamma is as fierce as my LOVE for Mamma. It’s only been 52 days since CANCER WON.

Yesterday was my birthday. It started as a great day and ended as a great day. In between is where I buckled…

We went out to dinner to our favourite Mimmos, funny how we have shared that place with Mamma too before. As we walked in there was an older lady with short grey hair wearing the exact same blue top that was indeed one of Mamma’s favourites. Well I cried for more than half the dinner. I even cried after she had left. I cried when I got home and I cried some more when I went to bed. Dude feels it was a sign that Mamma was there celebrating with us.

The hurt doesn’t get better with time. We only find ways to live and cope with it!

Spirited Mama

Miss you always Mamma!

My birth day. 33 today


So today is my birthday. Every year I find myself wondering if my mom actually remembers my birth. The time. The surroundings etc. I can remember Dudie’s day as if it was yesterday. It is etched in my memory. And I can’t wait for the resident alien’s day to arrive. I am grateful and abundantly blessed to be able to celebrate this day. So many people don’t get to celebrate their birthday. I am happy just being with my Dude, Dudie and resident alien in utero. I have no checklist to tick off those boxes of where you are suppose to be at 33years of age. My life is exactly where God has intended it to be.

I have no desire for fancy gifts just wealth, health and prosperity – in which ever forms they may come. I am learning to accept the things that I cannot change. More importantly I am accepting me. I am enough for me.

Happy birthday to me!


Spirited Mama

P.S Today I am also 24 weeks pregnant. OMG my clothes seem to have shrunk! I need to get a new wardrobe, at least maternity wear aint drab no more, all whilst Preparing for baby

Pregnancy anatomy….


Even with Dudie I never bought maternity clothes. JUST couldn’t find “non-drab” maternity wear. I opted for maternity jeans and just ended up buying “non-maternity” clothing that I liked in a bigger size… thankfully I didn’t get too big. Crossing my fingers I can stay within limits of pregnancy weight gain….

BUT let me just say that Maternity wear has come a long way….And how easy to do online shopping…

Now as much as I love online shopping – I also feel the need to actually fit the clothes before I purchase them.

Some favourites are:

Cherry Melon


Yummy Mummy Maternity

Apart from the fact that my bank balance is trying to stab me with a dagger because I need to curb my spending – I need a new wardrobe all whilst Preparing for baby.

Sigh…My piggy is broke.


Maybe I should just come to work in my robe and who knows if I jazz it up with pretty accessories maybe no one will notice. Could start a new trend.

Spirited Mama

ONLY 1 more sleep until my BIRTHDAY!

How my GUESS watch saved me from a snake…


Yes, you read it right. This post is about how my GUESS watch saved me from a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra.

So in 2015, we got lucky when I called a place for a last minute booking over the Easter break. I found it in the Dinokeng reserve. Now I have absolutely no qualms, even after this incident, with nature. I get that I am in the wild and in their territory and rightfully so I respect the wildlife. But fuck lately I am having more goosebumps and hair raising experiences than I would like….

Anyway, we were so chuffed to get this last minute booking. Arriving on Good Friday, to a place where you are told warned “Please close the gate after you enter the camp as the Big 5 roam free in the reserve”. Now, a rational person would have said fuck that I am heading back to civilisation, but NOT this Spirited family. No we will find these places. And we will conquer them.

We arrive and unpack. We are impressed for a Bush Camp. Only concern, the bathroom is sort of outside of the bedroom and kitchen. You need to step onto the porch to get to the bathroom door. Now  this doesn’t bother me but it sure bugs the hell out of Dude who is paralyzed at the mere sight of a spider, no matter what size. We decide to explore the camp and take a stroll across the lawn to the pool and recreation centre. This is about 500metres from our porch.

Inside the recreation centre we find a pool(snooker) table, table tennis, a tv area and a long dining room table…so I tell myself do not stick your hand into the pool table as you are out in the wild and need to be weary of snakes and spiders. I discover you can actually exit by the pool table as well.

Dude and I start playing table tennis. Dudie interjects and I say you play with Dad, I want to check that room past the tv. I walk past the front door where we had entered earlier and as I pass a huge gas heater I feel my left hand is wet. As if someone sprayed it with water…I stop and think that I just passed a gas heater, this whole camp is thatched roofs and if gas is leaking and a fire breaks out we are all fucked. So I backtrack…slowly walking backwards to check this gas heater. And right there on the floor next to the gas heater lies a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra.


MOTHERBUFFER! With my mind racing and me calculating that if I run around this fucking 12 seater table this snake can surely just slither underneath and stop me on the other side, or if I scream or startle the snake it will have a go at me…very calmly I say ” Dude, take Dudie and go out by the pool table. Dude, huh? I repeat myself but this time a bit louder and with more concern in my voice. As they exit, I calmly walk around this table so that I too exit at the pool table.

Once outside I was freaking out. We ran speed walked to the owner and informed him about the snake. He checked my hand and arm for any scratches or cuts and said Sussie jy is Fokken gelukkig hy hou van jou blink horlosie” (sister you are fucking lucky he likes your bling watch). So off he goes in search of this snake.

We did inform the other visitors who we met along the way not go to the recreation centre as there is a snake. We get there with the owner and already there are some guests who wanted to catch the snake. The owner goes inside and calls me to the door to check if the snake that he caught is in fact the right one. At this stage I am shitting myself thinking what do you mean the right one. I said yip it is without even looking.

He confirmed it was a Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra and guess what they spit from any position. They do not need to stand up or flair up to spray you with venom. Although, it’s more the bite that you need to be careful of. Sadly, he killed the snake as he says the camp is full and the snake has obviously settled there so if he leaves it the snake will most likely just come back. And it might not be a happy ending next time. Can I just say that although relieved I was very sad that they had to kill the snake. Dudie, up til today, is still pissed that the snake was killed. He asked the owner, do you think God is happy with you killing his creatures? There was a veterinary Doctor as well who agreed it was best to kill the snake.

After all that commotion we headed back to our chalet. Slightly more cautious being there. Feeling exposed and vulnerable. Dude goes to the bathroom, and starts cussing…well you guessed it. There was a spider in the bathroom. On the door that he just closed. The very same door that he needs to touch to get out of there. He only saw this spider once he decided to use the lavatory. I was beside myself with laughter. I rescued him, after I laughed and laughed and laughed…

That night we did not sleep much. Me worrying about snakes and Dude worrying about spiders. The next day we were scheduled to go on a game drive. We arrive at the pick up and the owner says “Sussie jy het my so laat skrik, Ek was bekommerd oor jou. Ek is Bly jy is ok” We had a lovely sunset drive but thankfully didn’t see the lions. I think I had enough of the wild for a while…

Last night there. We wake up and Dudie is covered in red spots. Like everywhere. We looked for snake and spider bites but nothing. Then put it down to sand fleas…but we packed our stuff and headed straight to Dischem in Pretoria, about an hours drive from the bush camp. The pharmacist was chilled so naturally we were chilled. Got some meds and went to the comfort of our snake free home.

The next day Dudie looked even worse. We headed to Pretoria East Hospital and the trauma Doctor on duty said it was some sort of virus that Dudie had. Gave stronger meds and sent us home. It took a few days to clear but thankfully he was good as new in no time.

Suddenly I remember why we haven’t been in the bushveld for a while.

Did you know that the Mozambiquan Spitting Cobra is considered the most dangerous after the Black Mamba?

I am so grateful for my bling GUESS watch because this snake thought it was my eyes and had a go at it. I am the person wearing a blinging GUESS watch in the bush. I also always wear my sunglasses…

Spirited Mama