Kids get sick

Kids get sick at the most inopportune times in OUR lives. It will either be in the wee hours of the morning, or at school, or weekends, or on holiday, etc. Isn’t is just incredible how kids make a miraculous recovery whilst you are sitting in the Paediatric waiting area? Please tell me it is NOT just my kids who do this. They are happy and playing when we are at the doctor but limp fish and half dead when you have them at home…

Maz, from Caffeineandfairydust, wrote a post earlier this year that resonated with me.

To The Mom Sending Her Sick Kids To School…And Everyone Else

I know some parents have NO alternative but to send their sick kids to school but dammit it aint fair on the rest who are trying to keep their kids in good health. I empathise with both parents, the parent sending the sick kid to school as well as the parent trying to keep their kid healthy. With Dudie we used to rotate who would stay home so that we don’t exhaust one parent’s leave only. And also not to piss of the employer that one parent is staying out of work all the time.

I remember spending more time than I would have liked at the Emergency Room with Dudie. And thankfully now that he is 7 years old I think we’ve only had two ER visits in a long time.

Troll is in daycare. Fortunately, it’s only half day. But that still makes him susceptible to the germs around him for the few hours that he is there. Thank goodness we have a policy at work in OUR department, Family comes First.

Last month whilst I was on study leave, I dropped Troll at 07:35 only to pick him up again at 10:20. They called to say that he had a fever. With the long weekend coming up, I didn’t want to take any chances and end up at ER for the weekend. I took him to the paed and thankfully it was only a secondary infection but it was enough to warrant an antibiotic…

SO that is how Thursday started. And so we went through our long weekend nursing Troll, who woke hourly every night without fail. This was as exhausting as it was painful. Troll has an excellent night time routine. He cluster feeds from 4pm, then it’s bath time at 7pm and bedtime by 7:30PM. Then he will sleep for 7-9 hours straight. Imagine after such an incredible routine you now suddenly have to wake every hour during the night. Do you see why it was painful? By Sunday Dude and I were walking zombies. We would take turns and just pass Troll from one to the other.

Thankfully Troll got better and by Monday night he was back to his normal routine. I did say “Thank you JESUS” aloud a few times. In fact, I say “Thank you JESUS” every night when I swaddle Troll after his bath, put him in his bed and switch the lights off and just walk out the room. 9 out of 10 times he will be asleep within 2-5 minutes. If not, he normally just needs to be burped again and put down.

Our kids got sick, both Dudie and Troll. Then as luck would have it, when they were fully recovered the parents were sick. For the entire month of June, it is like we were playing musical chairs with someone always being sick. Everyone one got better, except me… I’ve been nursing “something” all this time. It’s not quite enough to get a doctor’s appointment but it is also not going unnoticed… I’m gatvol of feeling like this. Then last week I was better, in fact I was doing great. BUT that something was lying dormant, just waiting for me to let my guard down.

As soon as my exams were done and I could finally just sleep like a “normal” person BAM! I was sick AGAIN! And then Murphy seems to be in my red zone, Troll is sick too… Oh My Lawd…I can’t. I just can’t. For my own sanity, on Saturday I co-slept with Troll. We both got some much needed rest. In fact, we only woke up at 8:51 on Sunday morning.

I do think that Troll will need some meds, so guess where we are this morning. Yep, the paediatrician’s waiting room. I must add that I do love this doctor. He is so gentle with ALL the kids and so very thorough. And just in case Mom isn’t feeling ok, he will happily give mom a quick check and prescription too. It’s a win win situation.

What I would like to know is:

  1. Do you send your sick kid(s) to school?
  2. How do you feel about parents sending sick kid(s) to school?

I have been on both ends of the stick. I was the parent dropping a sick kid and I am now the parent getting pissed off seeing sick kids at school. I know what it feels like to drop a sick child. We live in a different province than our families. So we don’t have the support that most of my family has, who lives within close proximity to the family. We, i.e. Dude and I, have to do everything, be everyone etc…I also know what I feel like walking into Troll’s class and I see snotty faces. I cringe and immediately wipe their faces. Yep, I wipe the other kids’ faces. Whilst cuddling Troll, I quietly tell myself to calm the fuck down because perhaps those parents had NO ALTERNATIVE.

Yes, it’s annoying to have a sick child but then again if need be, I can always take Troll home or to my office. I do think that it builds their immunity to catch a few germs here and there but within reason of course. I am fortunate to work in an environment that is “family” and “kid” friendly. Well just in my department, not in the Institution as a whole.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have an alternative, whatever it may be. So for now, I smile as Troll looks like he has made a miraculous recovery in the Paediatrician’s room but will most likely be limp by bedtime tonight. Both Troll and I are fine for most of the day but as soon as dusk starts setting in, we become “sick”… what is this sorcery?

I’m pretty sure we can debate the topic about whether or not to send sick kids to school until kingdom come…I think we all just need to chill out and cut one another some slack! I see the mom, who is pregnant and battling to hawl her kid from car to classroom all whilst huffing and puffing and looking a little under the weather herself. I see the parent, who is embarrassed to drop the “sick” kid too. I also see the parent who is fuming because someone at school is sick.

Happy Monday! I feel like crap! I need to go nurse my Troll.

Spirited Mama

 

 

Derailed and binge drinking

Not me…the baby…Troll is binge drinking. At first I thought it was growth spurts but it has become a daily occurrence and I guess this is just what he does. I really think I should just connect the tube from my breast pump directly from breast to Troll…

My plans are being DERAILED. Clearly I have forgotten how long it takes to get out of the house with a new baby. Just to get to PicknPay, which is literally across the road from our house, takes forever. I swear it’ll be quicker if I sent one of the dogs with a note and some cash to bring back the goods.

One Sunday I had a plan of action for the day. We would go to church, go to Checkers straight after the service because the toilet paper was on special. BabySoft hasn’t been R79.95 since forever. I wrote about our use of Toilet Paper here.

Then I wanted to stop at Woolworths because I have a gift voucher to pamper myself. And I had to change baby clothes because we had duplicates, a gift we received when I already bought the exact same outfit for Troll.

Well, this is how my plan of action actually went down:

We skipped Church because I just didn’t want to wake the sleeping baby. My 7 year old said “Mom you can just pray harder here at home.” Then my 7 year old took an eternity to get done. In between Troll kept feeding as if it was the end of the world. Me having a hissy fit because the 7 year old showers for an eternity and yet he is the first to preach that we should save water. Oh and then Dude, aka the husband, messages me that he needs to go to PicknPay after work but we should enjoy our outing. I responded that we were going nowhere slowly. At 11am I put Troll down for a nap. I hurriedly dust the bedrooms, get the eldest child dressed and ready for the day. I fold the clothes from the dryer and put the next load. I never hang the laundry. I tumble dry EVERYTHING. Even the ones that say DO NOT tumble dry. I take a quick shower. I nibble on some biltong because with a new baby you kinda forget to eat nevermind make a proper lunch. Then the 7 year old is calling for food. I waiting for Dude to get home from work, just to offer me a few minutes of respite. I look at the clock and think shit it’s only 12:35 but it feels like bedtime again.

Well that’s that. I ate some fruit and some yoghurt. I’ve learnt to stock up on food that you can snack on whilst breastfeeding or handling the baby…One-handed operations only. I never got to PicknPay, neither did I make it to Checkers or Woolworths. I sat down and realised shit I still wanted to go to Makro as well. What used to be a seamless operation now takes forever and a day, planning and coordinated movements…all just to get to the shops with two kids by my side.

I always pack two baby bags. One to take with us when we leave the house and an emergency backup if we need to rush out. My 7 year old always grabs snacks for the road, albeit just to PicknPay across the road. I kid you not. Dude will attest to that.

How do you manage with kid(s)? I only have two but some days it feels like I have twenty…

#thestruggleisreal

Spirited Mama

P.S. My 7 year old says “Mom if you don’t want to smell like the baby vomit just wash with water and soap and you can smell like you”. The honesty of this child sometimes…

 

The entire family admitted to hospital in the same week…

Ok so Troll, aka new baby, is not so new anymore. He is 4months old already. The pregnancy was not all smooth sailing as it was with Dudie. It was challenging and even more so for my spirited household. Cos you know, the wheels on the bus fall off when Mom aint around. Kudos to Dude who did his absolute best whilst I was in and out of hospital.

Here’s the background…throughout most of my pregnancy I noticed that my feet were swollen ALL the time. Whenever I went for the checkup, the gynaecologist always found traces of protein in my urine. I should mention that I am high risk for DVT too, but that is another story. Somewhere after 30weeks my Dr wanted more frequent check ups to monitor me. And it just so happened that we went on a roadtrip the week before my scheduled checkup. Well when we came home, I was admitted to hospital for observation. I can’t even remember the diagnosis. We had a lovely holiday period at home over Christmas but then I noticed that my left leg had been doubling in size…I went for a checkup and did the 24hour urine sample test. Well they rushed the results and I was admitted to hospital again. Diagnosis…Preeclampsia. Whoa! I was nervous and a little freaked out. I was not even 33 weeks and my Dr advised that Troll might have to be delivered soon. They started with steroid shots to boost his little lungs. Holy crap those shots burn like crazy. I was constantly being monitored. Me being me, I negotiated with the Dr. She said we will deliver at 35 weeks. I said no we can wait until 37 weeks. And during all this time, I had to stay in hospital whilst Dudie started Grade 2. What a hellavu long hospital stay that was. (Did you know you get a long stay menu in hospital? Best you ask for that menu cos the food is sooo much better.) And to top it all my condition remained stable whilst in hospital until I reached 36weeks. Dr was ready to deliver Troll but I knew I had to trust my gut. I just wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready. After much persuasion from my side the Dr agreed to wait until 37 weeks. Well folks, I was in such good shape after those negotiations that I got a weekend pass to go home.

I managed to get pass the 37 week mark and again negotiated with my Dr to just wait until 38 weeks, unless of course it is an emergency… Dudie had a swimming gala the Monday from 11am. I reschuled my doctor’s appointment for 9am so that I would make it to the gala on time. Dude decided he needed to take me to the doctor himself and he even packed my hospital bag in the car 😳 I was not impressed with him because I was going to watch Dudie swim that day. That morning the Doctor politely informed me, after doing a stretch and sweep, that she is admitting me immediately and should Troll not make his appearance, she will induce labour on Tuesday morning. It is an understatement to say that neither the doctor nor Dude was impressed when I said that I was going to the gala and would check in at the hospital that afternoon. The doctor almost gave herself whiplash as I answered ” I will be back at 5pm” 😂. Dude was like hell no. I will bring her as soon as the gala is done. Let’s just say there is no point in arguing with me once I have made up my mind.

That settled it and off we went to the gala. Sadly, we missed Dudie’s first race which he won by the way. But my golly, I was so proud with tears streaming down my face, to see my 7year old compete and win all his races. He looked so small in comparison with the other kids. Dudie was so happy that we came. The headmaster alerted my husband that should we need to leave in case I go into labour we should just go. Dude announced to the headmaster, “oh don’t worry I’m taking her to the hospital after the gala. This baby is coming today or tomorrow”. The look on the headmaster’s face was priceless😂 And I’m pretty sure he, his staff and a few parents were freaking out on our behalf.

So Dudie got first prize in all his races. Now wasn’t that worth going for? To share that moment with him. Dude gave me the look “I think it’s time to go” but I went off to chat to Dudie’s new teacher and then found his previous teacher and chatted etc, etc, etc. When I got back to the car, my family were pacing up and down anxiously waiting for me so that we could leave. My husband was calmly sitting and waiting and just said I told them you will come when you are ready. (Oh forgot to mention that some family came to visit all the way from Cape Town and was hoping to still be around for the birth. But they were flying back to Cape Town that very Monday as well)

We came home. We had a late lunch. Everyone was gobbling their food except me😂 I was so not in a hurry to leave. Bags were loaded and off we set for the hospital. Take note, Dude still had to drive the family to the airport and make it back to Pretoria in peak hour traffic. Thankfully, we had my Great Aunt visiting, so Dudie, Great Aunt and I were dropped at the hospital. In the parking lot. Like a proper drop and go🤣🤣🤣. My Aunt and her daughters said their goodbyes and told Troll to please wait for Daddy before he came.

We got to the labour ward and the Nurse jumped off her chair telling me how panicked she was because they have been waiting for me all day. My dr called them in the morning and they had prepped my room and everything. Well here I was and I was ready to get the show on the road. Dude made it back to the hospital in record time but I knew nothing would happen that night. I told Dude, Great Aunt and Dudie to go home and relax. The hospital will call should Troll decide to come.

That Monday evening, Troll and I had a discussion. I was sick and tired of the to and fro from hospital. And I really didn’t want an emergency c-section. So I asked Troll to work with me. I was ready to meet him.

Tuesday

I woke up at 5am and had a lovely warm shower. The nurse was on point and at 6am my labour was induced. Dude arrived just before 7am. Dudie was happy as a pig in mud as he got the day off from school, just waiting for Dad to fetch him at home to come meet his baby brother. Well, things progressed very slowly. Albeit that I informed the hospital staff and my dr that when it’s happening it will be quick, seems no one really believed me. I walked and walked and walked and walked right up until 30minutes before Troll was born. I wasn’t in pain but I could feel my contractions. The nurse asked what pain relief I was going to use and I politely said “nothing”. She did a double take and asked me if I knew what an induction was and how it progresses. I said yes, Dudie was also induced and I birthed that 3.4kg monkey drug free. All. Natural. She smiled and said just remember you are allowed to change your mind.

At about 14h30 I could feel I was leaking amniotic fluid and the nurse then proceeded to break my waters for me. Holy crap!!! The contractions hit me like a bus in a head on collision. I could barely breathe. It was that intense. I went from 4cm dialtion to full dialtion in 30minutes. As the nurse stepped out of the room to get paperwork, I told Dude to call her as Troll was coming and I needed to push. She promptly turned back and said he is crowning. Just hold him in a little 😳😳😳😱🤔uhm, how do you suppose I hold this baby in my womb when everyone has been wanting him to be born. He is ready whether you like it or not. And he is on his way. The dr came running and made it just in time as my BODY birthed this boy by itself. I didn’t do anthing. I just went with it. My body knew exactly what to do. And thank goodness I was intune with myself.

The nurse announced Troll weighed 4.04kg. Both the dr and I checked the scale just to be sure. (We discussed his weight and estimated that he would be 3.5 or 3.7 kg. Definitely NOT 4kg.) But there he was my chubby Troll. Finally here to meet us. We were so happy and relieved that both mom and baby were in good health. The other nursing staff came rushing into my room to see what the fuss was about. They couldn’t believe that just 30minutes ago I was walking the passages and chatting to them and here lies my 4kg Troll, whom I had birthed drug free. What a story I have to tell Troll when he is older.

Dudie came to visit his baby brother later that afternoon. He was and still is such a proud big brother. He waited for his baby brother his whole life, his words. When it was time to say goodbye, tears were shed but I noticed he did not seem to be quite himself. Anyway, I put it down to not wanting to leave mom and baby.

On Wednesday morning 3am, I get a text from Dude saying Dudie is vomiting and he is bringing him to the ER. I said they should come to my room once they know what’s happening. Well they had Dudie on an IV and did blood tests. Around 8am, they showed up in my room. Dudie was sent home with medication and needed to rest. Dude sent me a text during the day saying Dudie is fine and they will visit in the late afternoon. They will pick up my last supplies from Baby City, as I didn’t get around to doing that before I was admitted again. At 4pm, I started to worry as they were on their way but just not showing up in my room. As I picked up my phone, I saw Dude’s text, “Dudie being admitted now. Got sick in the hospital parking lot”. Well here I was in the maternity ward, with a day old baby, and my 7year old was being admitted in ER. Thankfully, the paediatric ward is right next to the maternity ward. I fed Troll and wheeled him over to the nursery. The staff was asking questions about Dudie, as they became close with him during my extended hospital stay. They were expecting him. They were shocked when I said “well I’m off to the paediatric ward to go see Dudie now as he was admitted”.

Dudie had some bug that was dehydrating him at a rapid rate. They were doing all kinds of tests but it seems the hospital was just full of sick kids. I walked between the maternity ward and paediatric ward the entire evening until Dude got back from home with supplies for Dudie and himself. So I was in the maternity ward with Troll and Dude was in the Paediatic ward with Dudie. The entire Spirited family was in the hospital.

On Thursday, Troll and I were given the go ahead to be discharged. I visited Dudie and said goodbye as I was’t sure how long he would stay but promised to come visit in between. That Thursday evening, Dude sends me a text ” Hey, I wasn’t feeling well and am now admitted too. On an IV. Must have gotten the bug from Dudie”. Wtf. My entire family admitted to hospital in the same week. I was going to have a ball explaining this to the medical aid cos someone is bound to screw up the records.

Thank goodness, their hospital stays were short and they responded rapidly to treatment. They came home on Friday evening. The Spirited family reunited. As we know, it’s always darkest before we see the light. And believe me, my Dude and  I can attest to the fact that we always have the most amazing trials and tests before we live a happier life…Have you experienced this? Is this a way of making us more grateful for what we have/are receiving? I think so. Somehow, through all our tribulations we have kept our faith alive.

For us, living in a different province with NO family support, we have found a way to manage our lives effectively and to the best of our ability. We know that WE have to count on ourselves to make our lives work. It is hard at times but yet so rewarding too. Just thinking of all our family drama, I am a little thankful that we are a long way away from it all. Yes, we miss out on family gatherings but we have some really awesome friends. These friends are our family. We have formed a family unit with them. We support one another and love one another and fight just like any other family. You’d be surprised finding out that we are in fact not related…

So that is how my entire family was admitted to hospital in the same week. When I was consolidating the medical bills, because you know the Medical Aids ALWAYS short pay the damn accounts, the consultant was in shock because she had 4 different accounts. One for each one of us for the same hospital. For the same week. It was a first for her. I am so glad we could help educate her…

 

Spirited Mama

 

P.S. The labour and maternity ward was full the entire time that I was there…thankfully, Troll was healthy and didn’t need NICU. I feel for the moms who gave birth and had to be transferred to a different hospital because there just wasn’t enough beds available… In fact, the hospital was full everytime I was admitted.

To my first born. You ARE a good child!

Where is the time flying to???

You know that moment when you realise your baby isn’t a baby anymore….Dudie is 7 years old. 7!!! He used to call me mommy/mama now it’s just mom. Sometimes he even uses my first name, bless this child. He is so independent but yet still so dependent on mom. Where did the last 7 years go?

One minute I was looking at a 3.4kg chubby face whom I had just birthed and the next he is in Grade 2. Somedays I miss your incessant staring at me and in the same breath I look forward to watching you grow into a handsome young man. A man who will become the object of some woman’s affection yet you will always be the object of my heart and soul.

From the moment I heard your first cry, you literally came screaming into this world, I knew you were destined for great things. Some things will be discovered later but for now, we support you in whatever you want to do. We want to give all the opportunities possible. We want you to explore, to live, to dream. To find your happiness. And wow, you have proven to be an all rounder…and we are SUPER proud of you. In any and everything you give it your best shot.

Your friends look up to you. Somedays I think you are the cool kid but you nonchalantly wave me off and just hang out with your friends. Adults comment on your excellent behaviour. I smile proudly and take the compliment whilst quietly thinking to myself “You aint seen this monkey when he loses his shit”. You are a good child and don’t you ever forget that. Somedays you just fall by the wayside…just as many of us adults do. It’s life, it happens. You know how sometimes you tell me my face has an angry stare but I insist that I am fine. Well, that is mom falling by the wayside. Or when mom doesn’t seem her talkative self, yip that is mom falling by the wayside.

In essence, I want you to know that not everyone is good at everything all the time. So when you do fall by the wayside, cut yourself some slack and don’t be so hard on yourself. At the tender age of 7 years I see how hard you are on yourself. And I know you don’t want to disappoint us. Remember what we always say: “Just try your best. You should be proud of yourself. Your best is good enough for us and should be for you too.”

You are a good child. And I am blessed to call you my son. My love for you is fierce. And it burns like a roaring fire in my soul. I am sorry that it doesn’t always seem that way though.

I love you my child. Be fearless. Discover. Go on adventures. Go live YOUR best life.

Spirited Mama

P.S. Today was a typical day where the wheels fell off the bus. I got you up and going happy bedhead and all. Somewhere in between me calmly, I promise I was calm and there was no shouting, asking you to get done for the millionth time you lost your shit with me. You went off on a tangent and then I got the dreaded “you give Troll more attention than me”. OMG! Really? I will need to rethink this situation as I really don’t think it’s true but I will merit your concerns and address them. I do think we are going through a difficult patch as you are struggling to manage your emotions. And I do think Troll definitely  makes a huge impact on the situation right now. (Adulting and parenting is hard…🙈)

Last night was opening night for your Concert. As always, the moment you take the stage my tears roll. I am so proud of you, how confident you are, how much you pour your heart and sould into everything you do. When I offered you a sandwich, you politely declined because you didn’t want to ruin the makeup 😂😂😂

My proverbial death

Well in 2016, I took a leap in faith and decided that if it is in God’s plan for us to have another baby then we will. I left it in God’s hands. I am a control freak but this was the one decision that I knew I couldn’t make on my own. I needed intervention but I needed God’s intervention, as I just wasn’t sure if we were making the right decision. Turns out God wanted us to have another son. I was nervous as hell as I pee’d on a stick…do you know that both times Dude predicted I was pregnant before I realised it. And he was spot on both times. Maybe he knew something I didn’t. In 2016 when I saw those two lines I was shocked that I didn’t believe it to be true. Dude set out to buy a digital test and it was confirmed again. I was pregnant. If I could do my own blood test I would have.

Fast forward to 2017 and we welcomed our resident alien, another son richer. For the sake of this blog we will call him “Troll” as Dude has dubbed him. A blessing indeed. Life as we knew it changed completely. As much as I tried to prepare my oldest son, Dudie who is 7years old, I neglected to prepare myself…Suddenly, there was a new man in my life who needed me. Every ounce of me. Day and night. To say that I’m tired or even exhausted is an understatement. How did I neglect to prepare myself. Well that was so easy. Whilst helping everyone else make the transition and preparing the baby room I kinda got so wrapped up in it all that I never took a moment to understand or even allow myself to embrace this new change. I was ecstatic and consumed with the happy that I never allowed myself to say goodbye to the old me. Much like I didn’t do 7 years ago when Dudie was born. No one can prepare you for motherhood. Well not for YOUR unique individual experience as a parent.

Troll weighed 4kg at birth. I shit you not. Me, I birthed a 4kg baby…I might do a separate post about it. I didn’t struggle to lose the baby weight as Troll literally suck me dry. But who was I kidding trying to wear my push  up underwire bra….it’s a killer especially when your boobs fill up with milk.

Who knew I would sing “Jesus loves me” a gazillion trillion times….cos the baby seems calmer when I sing it. And 75% of time he drifts off to sleep listening to my singing. Maybe I could make a career out of it on You Tube…one can wish can’t I.

I am breastfeeding mom. Was with Dudie too. But my golly these kids of mine can suck me dry. Sometimes I think my body can’t keep up with their milk demand. Dudie breastfed exclusively for 5months then went on a boob strike and from then I expressed for a further 3 months. Then I was done, my hopes of breastfeeding for a year didn’t quite materialise. Troll is also being breastfed currently. If we can make it to 6 months I’d be happy but If we can last 1 year that’ll be great.

Just as with Dudie, I am back in my normal old clothes again very soon after having Troll. But I have a tummy roll. Omg the dreaded roll. Dudie asked me the other day when the lines on my tummy will disappear. I responded with “Never. It reminds me that I have you and your brother”. And he also asked if I store Troll’s milk in my boobies…this child of mine has no filter…but I love him.

There have been dark days where both kids have drove me completely batty. Especially during Dudie’s school run. Someone is always hungry. Someone always poops as we need to leave. Someone is always unhappy about something.

Then there have been great days where Dudie is showered and ready whilst I’ve still got Troll stuck on my boob. Everyone is happy and the morning is as smooth as baby shit.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. I love being a mom. I just think that I need to stop being so hard on myself. But how can I. How can I drop my own standards. If mom doesn’t do xyz, the wheels on the bus go STOP. If mom doesn’t cook then chances are we WON’T eat supper by 6pm which then means Dudie is in the snack cupboard and snacking like a savage dog.

How am I the only one seeing that if we break out of routine the shit hits the fan?

Let’s not even get started on Dudie’s homework, oral presentations, projects etc…he is only in grade 2 and I swear this child’s homework will be the end of me. We fight and there have been times where I relieve myself from homework duty but I end up with a 7 year old crying his eyes out cos he needs me. His words exactly. He needs me. Mommy must do homework with him.

Being a mom to my two boys is a blessing and yes I am extremely greatful. BUT this mom needs a break. This mom needs a mom retreat. Soon. Before I lose my marbles. I have so many draft posts that I just don’t get around to finishing right now. Life is so busy. And when I have a few minutes to spare you can bet your pennies I’ll be hurriedly busy trying to finish something, read housework, cos otherwise that too just piles up. Life lately is consumed with laundry. Everyday. I kid you not. You can stop over anyday and I bet you will find the washing machine on or the tumble dryer or the load waiting to be washed. Whoever came up with the idea that mom needs to sleep when the baby sleeps was either completely insane or most likely had someone to do each and everything that comes with running a household and family….

I am NOT  the same person I used to be. In fact I am a new me. I’m not even sure I want the old me back but I do know that I miss snippets of the old me. Somewhere when Dudie turned 5 I felt like a person again. Not just a mom. Now throw in the Troll and it feels like I’m back to being just “Mom”.

I get that there are Dads who are very hands on, and granted Dude does help ALOT at home. But what is up with the “mom guilt”? Why can Dad decide to go fish and sleep out with his buddies but if Mom says she is NOT coming home tonight it’s the end of the world? Happy mom happy family right?

Do you do mom retreats?

I’m going to start my own trend #momcation

Spirited Mama

P.S. Troll is 14 weeks old already…where have I been these past 14 weeks??? Feels like a dream.

When you live up to your name…

Do you know what your child’s name means? Did you choose it or did you give someone else the honour of naming your child or children? Did you choose his/her name before they were born? Or are you one of those parents who waited until your child was born, to see what “name” they looked like?

I have 2 sons. Dudie is now 7 years old and the new baby is currently 3 weeks going on 4. I can’t believe how quickly the past three weeks have flown by. Where is time rushing to?

When I was pregnant with Dudie, my Dude and I discussed several names. With both pregnancies our kids were planned. We had a few options but none that really resonated and made me feel “aaahhh that’s the name of my child”. Dude is the 4th generation of family names and when Dudie was in utero I decided that we will not continue the tradition. Don’t worry Dude was totally on board with the decision. One day on my commute to work I sought of had an epiphany. Now I am not the very religious type but I do believe in God and I do regard myself as a Christian. Somehow I had a sense of something around me and I knew in that moment that my child’s name was “Joshua”. Nowhere had I ever dreamt or intended for my child/children to have biblical names. But that feeling was so strong and reassuring that I knew he is destined to be “Joshua”.

Some might know and for those who don’t, for a very very very long time I was convinced that Joshua would be my only child. Albeit that I had relatively fuss free pregnancy and what many believe to be an easy birth too. But in 2015, Dude threw me a curveball wanting or rather longing for another baby. I wasn’t quite ready. I wasn’t convinced. And the whole baby thing was left hanging. I spent alot of time considering having another baby. Many people commented that its because I waited so long. The gap is too big. Blah blah blah… I always knew that I was not cut out to have two babies close in age… I couldn’t handle the thought of two nappy bags, bottles, diapers, etc.

Dude is very supertitious. When I told him that our first born’s name is Joshua, he told me that he needed to think about it and thoroughly do his research. He is a firm believer that one lives up to your name. It took him a while to agree that we will name our first son Joshua.

Joshua means “God saves”. Joshua was and still is my happy child. When we looked into the meaning of his name it described my child to the core. We have witnessed how Joshua has transformed our extended families. We have witnessed how Joshua has impacted our families and brought them together. This child is a hellavu kind of special person and I know he is destined to be great, no matter what he does, no matter what he chooses to be one day.

I joked about how if we ever had another child he will be Noah. Never did I imagine that it would be a reality. But in 2017, 2 weeks earlier than anticipated, we welcomed Noah into our little family. From the onset he crept into my heart and I reAlised that indeed I had a sense of longing, just as much as Dude, for Noah. Dudie is as happy as a pig in mud about having a brother. He is super proud and completely “in love” just like us with Noah.

Noah means rest and comfort. Even though he can make his voice as loud and clear as any baby, he is a peaceful child. It is yet to be seen if he lives up to his name but already he has brought comfort into our souls…

Ironically, I named both our boys, and both have Hebrew names. First and middle names but Dude did add the SURNAME😂

Little did I know that this is my destiny. My family feels complete. It’s me and my guy and our boys ❤️

This is my legacy.

This is my BEST life.

 

Spirited Mama

p.s. The sign featured is one that I bought for Dudie to hang in his bedroom.

Dinner conversations

We are fortunate in the Spirited household that I work half day. Dudie and I get home anywhere between 13:00 – 15:00, depending on the extra mural activities for the day. EXCEPT on Fridays. We do not compromise our FRIDAY! We have no extra murals and all shopping excursions is left for any day of the week EXCEPT Friday!

Granted Dudie and I are home early during the day and generally Dude is home by 16:00 everyday. We get to have to have a family dinner roughly 18:00 -18:30, you know those ones we see on TV and think fcuk how do they eat that early everyday…well half day JOB = early family dinner time

Our dinner time conversations are roughly about catching up on each other’s day and reminding one another to look at our “schedules” on the board. I am OCD with schedules and lists…I don’t like MAJOR surprises or curveballs. I like to plan and know what’s happening. On most nights this is how it goes…

(This is how it plays off in Dude’s mind)

Me: blah blah blah…so the other kid at swimming blah

Dudie: (interrupts whilst I am still talking) Daddy can I tell you something? Blah blah Blah

Dude: Stares blankly and says WHOA one at a time.

My Dude basically has a hissy fit because we are talking simultaneously. Well let me just add that Dudie sometimes forget to wait until someone is done speaking before going off on a tangent with his own story. That boy will sometimes ask and answer the very question he has just posed to you.

I want to die everytime I have to repeat myself cos who listens to the mom/wife anyway? Dude is so guilty of this. he will literally look me in the eye and “listen” but 5 minutes later asked me  to repeat what I said cos he didn’t hear me….

Our dinner conversations are filled with fun and laughter but sometimes we prefer to have some quiet time too. BUt the other night the boys were cracking jokes. I moaned  the resident alien is super busy and kicking the daylights out of me. Dudie comes to check and gets a kick on the hand. I said everytime the resident alien moves I poke him. Dudie pipes up: So poke him! I snort laughed and sprayed them and the spinach rolls with coffee….which was in my mouth. I did apologise because being pregnant I constantly need to pee and a laugh/sneeze can make me pee my pants #pregnancyjoys Unfortunately for them I sprayed the coffee, fortunately for me I managed to hold my pee.

Oh and NO, there is still NO baby. This boy is making keeping us in suspense. Last week Wednesday, Dr was convinced things are happening, I.e. My cervix is softening and I was 1-2cm dialated. yesterday I walked around at Monte Casino. BUT NOTHING!!!

I will see the Dr later today and we will figure out what is happening with this boy.

Spirited Mama