I need a laugh, badly!!!!!!!!!

Words for Women to Live By

  •  Aspire to be Barbie – the bitch has everything
  • If the shoe fits – buy them in every color
  • Take life with a pinch of salt… A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila
  • When life gets you down – just put on your big girl panties and deal with it(Baawwwaaahahahahahahaha)
  • Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality
  • I know I’m in my own little world, but it’s ok. They know me here
  • Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself
  • Remember, wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
  • Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest
  • If it has Tyres or Testicles it’s gonna give you trouble
  • By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong
  •  ‘Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today’. Now smile and send to any girl suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from life, who might need a reason to smile!

P.S. I’m having a really difficult time at work with my Senior. I seriously need to sit this woman down and tell her to get off her high horse!!!! She has an aura of “Self-importance” that I bet you’ll be blown away by. It.Is. That.Bad….. The Head of Dept just took me out for a coffee ‘cos she said that she can see that I’m going to explode….

P.P.S I got this in am email so have no idea where it stems from. Cheers to the Author!

My Child, My Rules!

I decided to do a quick update on my MIL (mother in law).

A few weeks ago we were in Cape Town. Dudie was getting a bit out of hand unruly so I calmly remind him that he will have a time-out soon, should he not change his behaviour for the better. well, if you know my parenting style I only give three warnings and that’s that! No negotiating.

I will not be embarrassed by a tantrum throwing toddler anywhere. I’ve put Dudie in time-out in a restaurant, at friend’s homes, etc… My Dudie knows that I don’t make idle threats! Period!

So at Ouma’s (Grandma) house, it seems that my child thinks that I will miraculously just let him free…. As the time passed, Dudie started pushing boundaries. Coincidentally, my friend who was visiting, was telling us (me, Ouma, My mom) about how her mom let’s her daughter(she’s 7 months younger than Dudie) do whatever she wants in her house. Her mom tells her *ahem* ‘My house, My Rules! OMG! My response “WTF”?

Dudie in time-out. And of course he has that ugly snot cry calling Ouma come fetch me… Blah Blab Blah. This has happened before and Ouma and an Aunt actually went to his aid. From now on I stand guard when Dudie is in time-out. 🙂 They cringe when they see me standing there>

So my MIL jumped on board saying that she doesn’t like that Dudie gets time-outs in her house. This is her house. I respond with; Well, I’m not letting this child run wild then I have to discipline him when I get home. And that was the end of it! No negotiating. Dudie gets his time-outs when he deserves them and everyone knows NOT to interfere with my discipline…..

 

How do you handle your Mother and MIL?

P.S. My mother just looked away when I responded. She knows not to interfere.

P.P.S When I told my Dude what happened, he cracked himself. Bear in mind this is his mother we’re talking about. He said that I should’ve told her “My Child, My Rules!!!!

 

FF minus

FF = Fruit Fail!!!!

I *heart* fruit and whilst I was preggars, I ate so much fruit until someone warned me about pregnancy related diabetes…  But I still *heart* fruit. Even now I munching on an apple. And I have a banana lined up for later.

I have a 2yr old who wants to die when I offer him fruit. I know for a fact that he eats it at school, so I’m not too stressed that he doesn’t eat it at home. But I’ve come across Fruit Pack. A fruit pureé that is package like a juice…… (I’m starting to smile). Just maybe I can pull this off and add to my “mommy bag of tricks”.

On Saturday, we skipped off to our Baby City for the usual:

Nappies(thanks to the Pampers bale packs), wetwipes, bublewash and Fruit Pack.  I decided to get the apple and pear. I think you need to come up with a variety pack so that Dudie can experiment with all the flavours. Well, I showed it to the Dudie. His face lights up and he takes his first gulp. I hold my breath as I can see him swirling that pureé in his mouth and it looks like he’s about to spit it out. But alas, he swallows and say, mmmmmm.

Success! I have now decided that I will be doing fruit packs in his treat box. And this is what today looked like:

P.S. If anyone working for Fruit Pack reads this, please do a variety pack too.

P.P.S Dudie get all meals and snacks at school but I still pack a treat box everyday. And I love the fact that he looks forward to his treats.

P.P.P.S When will this child just stop using nappies already? He says when he wants to use the loo and then happily comments “see nothing in nappy”. WTF?

Some Friday Funnies

Ladies & Gentlemen….

For you, Friday Funnies compliments of Spirited Mama

Enjoy, Happy Friday!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not Sure what the end result was but I think it’s safe to say that he will be hiding his face the next time he sees them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wonder if the person who painted this passed….

 

 

 

 

 

 

Car pool anyone?

 

Happy Friday all!

P.S. I have no idea who to credit for these images. Here’s to you – Whoever you may be!

 

Why God made Mums!!!!

I received this from a friend. I’m not sure who to credit for this. So, whoever you are – Cheers to you!

WHY GOD MADE MUMS

Answers given by second year school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1.    She’s the only one who knows where the selotape is.

2.   Mostly to clean the house.

3.    To help us out of there when we were getting born..

How did God make mothers?

1.    He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.   Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3.    God made my mum just the same like he made me.

He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum?

1.    We’re related.

2.   God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mum like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mum?

1.    My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.

2.   I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.    They say she used to be nice.


What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1.    His last name.

2.   She had to know his background.

Like is he a crook?

Does he get drunk on beer?

3.    Does he make at least one million a year?

Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?

1.    My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot.

2.   She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.    My grandma says that mum didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1.    Mum doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such an idiot.

2.   Mum.

You can tell by room inspection.

She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.    I guess mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between mums and dads?

1.    Mums work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2.   Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3.    Dads are taller and stronger, but mums have all the real power ’cause that’s who you have to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4.   Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?

1.    Mothers don’t do spare time.

2.   To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?

1.    On the inside she’s already perfect.

Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet.

You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?

1.    She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.

I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my mum smarter.

Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

PRICELESS!!!

I was NOT born That way!

I just need to vent a bit.

I have been trying to catch up with work/family/blogging/readers/life/flu….

Last week Monday, we got back from Cape Town. <Thank you for the awesome weather. We were overdressed. I kid you not>

I get to work on Tuesday, and just like that, that sniffly cold that I had before we left turned green and ugly. FAST!

On Wednesday, I go to the doctor’s rooms to try to sneak in early. But there were probably 50 people there, who all seemed to have something very contagious. I backed out and asked the friendly receptionist to give me call when it’s safe to return.

Oh, did I mention that the Dudie also showed symptoms of a cold. Well we got to see the doctor at 6pm that evening! I wa son my way to flu and Dudie was still on the “cold” front. We happily take our meds and take the rest of the week off….

On Thursday, Dudie made a miraculous recovery and every time I gave him his meds he seemed to get energised??? WTF! When I took my meds I became more and more drowsy! On Thursday, my Dude got a speech from hell, not sure what it was about but I blame my dementia on the flu meds… Dude proceeded to suggest that I take the Dudie to school half day on Friday.

<I had other plans>

I am not Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)material. I shit you not! I could be a SAHM everyday! The Dude and Dudie enjoy the fact that when I am home for a day they get spoilt with home made goodies etc. But Reality check boys – If I were a SAHM – you will NOT get those treats everyday! The novelty will wear off so quickly you’ll be begging me to go back to work! I need to work – for my own sanity. I enjoy working and I do love financial freedom! I sit on the edge of my seat monthly waiting for my sms that my salary has been paid!

On Friday morning, I drag myself out of bed. Bear in my Dudie came to lie in my bed from 7am until 8:30ish. I take him to school, return home and drop on the bed. I woke at 3pm with boots and all under the covers…

Dude had to work this weekend. So, Dudie and I got to sleep a lit later than usual, 9:15, on Saturday. By the time we got to the market, which is across the road from our house, it was 10am and they had packed up. Dudie was pissed cos he didn’t get his Saturday pancakes. So we only fed the ducks, geese & turkeys and left.

We went to Woolies and got pancakes, yoghurt, sparberry cooldrinks, cocktail sausage rolls and sweets and we had a picnic in the parking lot.  BLISS!

We got home 20mins before Dude. I put the leftovers in the kitchen for Dude. The helper was there to do her weekly thing and Dudie & I proceeded to go and have a siesta. We were sick remember. So were need to rest. It’s Wednesday, and I’m still sick. This is going on 2 weeks now. How long will this take???

This Mama needs a break!

P.S. I’m an emotional wreck when I’m sick. More like a ticking time bomb. As a mom, when do we get a sick day? Just a fckin day to be sick? Why do we always need to be the go to person?

Last nite at 9:45pm, whilst my Dude & Dudie had been in sleep heaven for over an hour already, I was still folding the washing/making fish cakes – that can just be fried today/cleaning the dishes/packing lunch/loading the machine with more washing/picking up papers/cleaning the bird cage/telling the dogs to shut the fck up/eating frozen strawberries & bananas/having tea/etc

I was wondering what other moms do to balance their lives and daily tasks…. My body needs 5-6 hours sleep to function. I can run on 1-2 hours but that’s not a pretty sight so let’s not even go there. I don’t do interruptions well either! How do you balance life/family/work/marriage? Somethings gotta give and currently my Dude is taking strain. He aint getting my attention. By the time I was done last night, it was well after 11 and I slumped on the couch to watch a really bad movie on DSTV and just sip my tea and enjoy the peace and quiet!

Enough of my rambling…. I need to take a road trip! I’m already looking at possibilities. Also this will be just in time for our annual increase…