The winner of the Avene Eau Thermale hamper is……
Contact me so we can arrange your prize.
Thank you @autographpr thank you for the amazing prize.
The winner of the Avene Eau Thermale hamper is……
Contact me so we can arrange your prize.
Thank you @autographpr thank you for the amazing prize.
Kudos to YOU if you are a “hands-on or involved” Dad. It’s quite amazing to see that there are still guys out there who think their role is to implant you with their seed and VOILA they are ‘Father of the year’ because their job as “Dad” is done.
We really don’t show enough gratitude to the dads who really get involved and dirty their hands when it comes to raising their offspring. As a society, we are hell bent on naming and shaming dead beat dads BUT what about dead beat moms? Why is it shoved under a carpet or no one ever speaks about when the mom is a bad parent? There are so many bad/absent/uninvolved/negligent parents out there.
Please don’t think that my life as a mom is all roses and moonshine BUT I really cannot imagine my life without my kids(yes I am already speaking of the resident alien as if he is here). Parenting is NOT easy. There is NO handbook. We parent by trial and error. What is good for one family might not necessarily be good for another. Everyone is different. Everyone has different parenting styles. BUT they day that we, Dude & I, became parents we made a commitment to Dudie – to always try our level best and to always be there for him! It’s taken 7 years to have another child. I do NOT take this commitment lightly.
For me being a parent is a LIFELONG commitment! You cannot unparent yourself. There is no return to sender, or 7 day exchange period. Please ensure that YOU are sure that YOU want to be a parent – for your child’s sake as well as yours.
I am 31 weeks pregnant and counting. Dude is doing most of our housework and taking care of us, all whilst holding down his paying JOB too. Granted he is exhausted by 8pm every night BUT hey he is doing it without any complaints…perhaps silently or in his head but he is sure not complaining to us about it.
So today DUDE we SALUTE you for being an AWESOME husband and Dad. Thank You for taking care of us! We love you LOTS!
P.S. Anyone MAN can father a child but it takes aFATHER to raise his child!
I can’t believe how competitive Dudie is with the resident alien, who is still in utero. He is literally competing with his brother even though his brother is still very comfortable and snug in my ever growing belly. Last week I was spoilt with a surprise baby shower for the resident alien. A lovely gesture from some of my colleagues. and some even took the initiative to get Dudie a gift or two.
Do you have a baby shower for your second or third child?
When I fetched Dudie from school , I had the leftover cake in the car. By the time we got home Dudie had eaten the “Baby Noah” off of the cake, dug little holes into the cake and was ready to eat the pretty blue booties. I was slightly annoyed as it just felt as if he was jealous and acting out. (How pretty is this cake and it was SO delicious!)
When he saw all the gifts the baby received his immediate response was “he is so lucky to get all these gifts”. He was fine when he realised he also got some gifts though.
What gets to me is that it seems that he expects to get something if the baby gets something. How can I change that mentality? How do I make him realise that if one gets the other doesn’t necessarily HAVE to get as well. (I actually know of people who buy birthday gifts for all their kids, even if it is just the one kid’s birthday.) I’m sorry that shit just won’t fly with me. Perhaps I need to give it some time. Consistency is key here. We have had numerous conversations about it and will continue with these conversations because frankly there is no need to be competitive. We love our children and strive to treat them both equally and fairly.
I get that Dudie is only 7 years old and suddenly he needs to share his whole world with someone else, his brother. This brother that he has been yearning for… It’s a HUGE adjustment for all of us as we will now be a family of four.
How do you deal with competition amongst siblings? How do you handle it? Any advice?
Nothing can prepare you for having kids. I mean you can prepare and save and do what you need to do but, in my opinion, you will never have everything just right to prepare you for having kids. Dudie is 7 years old and we have a resident alien in utero, who is due to arrive in less than 9 weeks…
As we are wrapping up 2016 we are also preparing for our new journey of becoming a family of four… This is by far a very exciting time but also a bit nerve wrecking as I think – “I hope we can manage everything”. We have been faced with tougher decisions before and somehow when we put our minds to it we make it work. Dude and I make a mean team. We work for what we want out of life. And we work damn hard to achieve it!
Do you know that we have already paid Dudie’s re-enrolment fee for 2017 in October? We also had to pay for his stationery pack for 2017 in October. That I can still comprehend. What baffles me is that the resident alien is still in utero, we don’t even know when he will make his grand entrance BUT we already paid his fee to secure his spot for 2017!!!! When I completed the enrolment forms many questions were answered with TBA because frankly we don’t know his date of birth/identity number/vaccination schedule/allergies etc…
The resident alien’s fees are almost aligned to Dudie’s private school fees….pardon me they refer to themselves as an independent school. Soon we will have two kids in an independent school. It scares me. The cost their education. The cost of living.
I see people moving their kids to different schools because of the costs… What price tag do you put on you kids’ education? Life in general is expensive. For now we bite the bullet and have Dudie in an independent school and the resident alien in his over priced nursery school.
For now I am going to take a walk to the cafeteria and buy myself a treat…
Random Conversations with Dudie:
Dudie: Guys when I have to leave and buy like my own house…can I have the BMW please?
Dudie: My tummy doesn’t feel well.
Dudie: Cos I ate 5 spoons of honey at home…
The thought of Dudie growing up alone has always haunted me and for a very long long long time I wrestled with the idea of having another child. Well 2016 was apparently the year that we decided was a good year to grow Spiritville. In case you were not aware, yes we have a resident alien aka baby, due in Feb 2017…
The idea of having another little person to take care and be my responsibility until the day that I leave this earth is causing
some lots of anxiety. But the idea is growing on me and luckily at a much faster rate than my belly…We are excited and nervous and happy and scared all at the same time. There is no handbook to guide you to raise your perfect little angel. We can only hope and pray that what we are doing and teaching our kid(s) will be sufficient for them to become admirable, strong, focused, resilient young adults someday…
Another pressing thought that has been weighing me down is the age gap between Dudie and the resident alien…they will have a SEVEN year gap. Now, I have always said that I am not cut out for two babies and if I ever had another child I will not have them on top of one another. A seven year gaps does give me some sort of a paralysed feeling because doing the math I realised that we would have a teenager and a toddler in the house. When Dudie starts high school, grade 8, then the resident alien would start grade 1…
This morning I found an article on ALL4WOMEN, fostering a strong relationship between siblings. It resonated with me not only because I have a sibling and although we have a 9 year age gap, I’m the older one, but also because I don’t think my parents actively tried to foster a stronger relationship between us. We, my brother and I, are steadily working on our relationship currently. Perhaps my parents just thought that we were generations apart and that they were unsure of how to salvage the gap in our relationship… I am keeping my anxiety at bay and trying to be proactive to foster a relationship between Dudie and his unborn brother…Oh yes, IT’S A BOY!!!
I will constantly try my best to ensure that MY TWO boys will know that they are blood brothers and no matter what nothing and no one can take that away from them. What they make of their relationship is up to them but for as long as what I am around I will encourage, love and support their relationship.
P.S. Mamma had a biopsy but now we wait with baited breath. We will only know what the plan of action/way forward is next week once all the doctors have decided…If you missed it then read the post When CANCER happens…My family fights back
So in my family we have been dealt a low blow this past Sunday.
Here’s a rough breakdown of the lead up to this past Sunday
2014 – My mom’s younger sister, aged 44 at the time, was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. Almost immediately had a mastectomy and chemotherapy followed by radiation therapy. In 2015 she was cancer free and we had a huge family celebration in her honour.
2016 – My mom’s youngest sister, also aged 44 at time of diagnosis, is diagnosed with breast cancer. Almost immediately,May 2016, had a double mastectomy. She is cancer free and will not be having chemotherapy nor radiation therapy. Last Sunday, the family had a huge celebration in her honour. Unfortunately, we missed it as we live in Gauteng and had already decided and booked flights to Cape Town for 5 August. I was sad that I missed it but something was knawing at me that we should just stick to our original dates and go to Cape Town as planned on 5 Aug.
So earlier this year I had a mammogram and sonars to check if there is anything to be concerned about… Well there are some minor issues but it’ll be monitored very closely. The doctor suggested that someone in our family should do the genetic test for CANCER. Well let’s just say that if the test results are positive and we have the cancer gene well then it’s a matter of When and not IF you get cancer. Let me just say that medical aids DO NOT cover the test and its about R10 000….So the youngest sister was waiting for confirmation from her medical aid to see if they were willing to assist with any sort of payment for this test… WE WAIT patiently.
Back to the past weekend, my Gran aka MAMMA (I literally feel as though she is my “real” mother. Dude says that I am like her 7th child) has been on/off sick with flu then apparently gall stones. On Saturday we see my Gran and we were shocked to see that she did not look well. She had lost weight and she was just not looking like her old self. She laughed and joked with us for a few hours and eventually we left. On Sunday, we get the call that she is not well and will be taken to Casualties. So most of the family treks to the hospital to go see Mamma. (Bear in mind that we have a very very very big family. Security was taken aback that we ALL came to see the same person). We arrive to find her smiling smiling and all happy and bubbly in casualties. They do some tests and inform us that her liver is enlarged and is pushing against her lungs, which is causing difficulty breathing. Later, they discover a huge mass in her left breast and now suspect breast cancer. They run some more tests and think that it may have spread to the lungs… They have been doing tests ALL the time. We wait to hear the final results and what the way forward would be.
On Monday we visited Mamma in hospital and spend as much time as possible with her, given that we only had limited time and were only allowed in one at a time. I got a brief period to tell her that I love her. The hardest part was saying goodbye as we had to come back to Pretoria on Monday evening. I told her that once we have more clarity on this situation I will fly back to come see her.
Mamma is our go to person. She is the MATRIARCH of this family! She is So incredibly strong for all of us. She is happy and bubbly but I worry that none of us are there after visiting hours. None of us really sees what she is enduring. None of us knows what she is going through for as long as what I have been on this earth Mamma has always been smiling. (Hou altyd die blink kant bo – roughly translated into always keeping a brave and happy face) never letting it show if anything gets to her or gets her down.
I have been crying ALOT and as I sit here now I just can’t help myself… I have prayed and given this situation to GOD. As much as I want Mamma to make a full recovery, I don’t want her to go through any unnecessary trauma of surgeries etc…My biggest fear is her quality of life after surgery(ies)… I have seen what CANCER can do and it’s not what I want for Mamma. Mamma is the type of person who will be here the one day and gone the next. And everyone that knows her will know that that is how she wants to be remembered. All I want is for HER to make her OWN decision as to what she wants to do. This past weekend I saw that my family might not accept Mamma’s decision…and I worry that they will bully her into something that she did not want. It’s the hardest decision to just let go and let GOD be because we all want more time with a loved one but like I said it kills me to think of what quality of life she might have afterwards… Nothing has been finalised and no decisions have been made as yet.
I pray for my MAMMA…
This was a random image I found on Pinterest…
It’s FRIDAY!!!! Whoohoooooo
Well in Spiritville this week surely took its own damn time. Even though we had a mini break on Wednesday as it was Voter’s Day ( I sincerely hope you made your mark as I did – your vote will only matter if you vote. Period. End of Story. I die a small death every time I hear someone say “my vote doesn’t matter so I why bother”. It is because of such attitudes that we miss the plot and that our RAND plummets every time there is anything remotely political being publicized.)
It’s been cold and warm in the same week, I think I even felt it on the same day too. Just love Pretoria Winters. But it does mess with your wardrobe a bit as you are not sure what would be appropriate attire. Well LAYERING is all that I can say…
On my drive in to the office this morning I realised that I really can’t imagine having weetbix for breakfast. I would much rather prefer some cooked oats. Well I didn’t have the luxury of time (for breakfast) this morning although I did manage to wash and dry my hair in record time, I made a quick pitstop at KFC. I was going to get the oats but then I couldn’t find it on the menu. However, the A.M. Riser caught my eye and that is what I got. Best R21.90 ever spent.
Oh how I miss my coffee. Decaf is just not cutting it for me. It didn’t do the trick when I was with child almost 7 years ago and it’s definitely not cutting right now either. I have done the hot chocolate, hot milo, cold milo, tea etc…but I JUST CAN’T GET OVER MY COFFEE….
Have a great FRIDAY.
P.S. I have an official viewing of our Resident Alien later today. We will be taking Dudie along this time. That boy is so excited to see the baby.