Because it’s V-day

Because it’s V-day I thought I’d add my 2 cents…We are not phased by celebrating Valentines Day, as I do think its commercialised and just a marketing ploy to guilt people into feeling obligated to “do/buy” something for their significant other. Well, we celebrate our wedding anniversary on 3 Feb, and in case you missed it we just hit the 10 year mark. We sometimes forget that Valentines Day is a thing because actually it not OUR thing.

Don’t get me wrong, it is always great to receive flowers/gift/chocolates from your other half, you decide if he/she is the better half ūüėā But why should it be limited to just one day in a year? Technically, what is being said is that no one could be bothered the rest of the year but on Valentines day you’d better make sure that you conform to the norms of society.

Well I say fuck it! We don’t conform to the norms of society. We have special days in our house ALL the time, albeit that Dude is the instigator. Man alive my Dude is a romantic‚̧ԳŹ My Dudie, 7years old, is learning from his Dad how to be romantic and how to treat a woman. He sees the love.

Dudie bought myself and his valentine, a girl in his class, a rose each. I asked him what a valentine does or is suppose to do? You know cos this Mom needs to know what information is being shared on the playgroud….Thankfully according to Dudie a valentine just gives each other a flower/gift. And by the way, the girl asked him…I thought it was odd as he never bothered with it before. I used to be the old girl that got his gifts‚ėļÔłŹ I cringe thinking about what discussions transpire on playgrounds. Do you know what your kids are discussing with their peers?

So here’s to Valentines DayūüćĺWhether you celebrate it or not, enjoy either way….

Spirited Mama

xxx

10 Years ago…

Today, 10 years ago….we became Mr & Mrs ‚̧ԳŹ¬†To be joined together as one.

The one phrase that stuck in my head since 10 years ago is “They are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder” Matthew 19.6 (Dude seems comfused. As if this is the first time he hears this verse…was he not at our weddingūüėā)

We have grown so much…it amazes me. We have so much to be grateful for and we are most definitely abundantly blessed. We even gained 2 beautiful sons in our marriage.

Dude is sitting next to me as I write this post this is what he just said…”Our marriage is like our tortoise…slow and steady wins the race”.

Cheers to us. To a lifetime of us. Always and forever‚̧ԳŹ

Spirited Mama

P.S. The resident alien arrived on 24 January 2017. So in celebrating our 10 years of marriage, we also celebrate the resident alien being 10 days old today.

 

Mamma….you know I love you

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Image found at http://www.w-dog.net/wallpaper

Mamma, YOU abandoned our ship. (in case you missed it CANCER WON Mamma lost)

Remember how excited you were to plan our September holiday? Remember how excited you were when I called with the news about the resident alien? Remember how excited you were when you decided we should go on a boat cruise to Namibia? And we were planning for 2017 because we had to wait for the resident alien to arrive? I remember the very first time we drove, me being the driver, on the N1 highway in Cape Town. I was the learner driver, you were the licensed driver – although you never drove. That was just the start of our many drives and adventures. Just the two of us. I miss those drives – which never really had a particular destination.

Then I moved to Pretoria. And we stayed in touch via the phone. Since 2015 you even started using whatsapp – I was so proud of you – keeping in touch with me and technology. You visited and often stayed for 3 months at a time. It wasn’t perfect but we loved you nonetheless. We argued/disagreed/fought but still remained true and loyal to one another. Nothing and no one could break our bond. Our droves continued in Pretoria.

Then started my morning peak hour drive conversations with you. Almost daily we spent an hour talking whilst I was in transit – don’t worry you were on “speaker phone”.¬†When I changed my job to work 7kms from home that hour long conversation was still an hour – ¬†only difference is I used to sit in the parking lot finishing my conversation with you. So many times I was late for work – not because of traffic but because I had to finish my conversation with you. And it was SO worth it. Our random ramblings, some things trivial and some so important and meaningful to us.

Well things have changed. “Life happens when you are making other plans… John Lennon” My LIFE has changed. YOU are no longer here to physically share it with me or my family. We miss. I MISS you. Always! They say that grief gets better with time. I say it doesn’t. We just find ways to live and/or cope with the grief.

Who knew that our holiday in April 2016 would have been our last one together. That this was one of our last breakfasts together.breakfast

That week was so special. One week of just the two of us alone at night, once more sharing a bed. Much like the last week before you became an angel. Just the two of us. A game of Checkers we played РAnd YOU won. A game of Putt Putt we played in the afternoon rain. And then you chickened out of our night swim that you requested. Was it because you were scared I would see your lump?  Our last supper Рyour infamous roosterkoekdinner

We talked and laughed so much that night that we hardly slept. The boys came knocking on our door to wake us for breakfast the next day. Those memories are forever in my heart and soul.

Losing you was one of the hardest things that I have to deal with. You are forever etched in my heart, mind and soul. I am a part of you as much as you are a part of me. Your last message to me was cryptic. I still don’t understand but perhaps with time all will be revealed.

Thank you for what you have done for me. But also for what you have taught me. I will do that Namibian boat cruise for you. For us. 

Love and miss you ALWAYS!

L

Spirited Mama

P.S. I sometimes wonder now that you are an angel are you spending time with my resident alien?

 

Second child syndrome..and hand me downs

 

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Second child syndrome. Hand me downs?¬†Is it fair or OK to pass on things?Do you feel neglected as a second child? I am the eldest of two children. But I am also the only girl. I have a brother who is 9 years younger than me. Dude is the youngest of three children but granted his brother is 8/9 years older than him. In essence, we kinda grew up as “only” children or in different generations to that of our siblings. Dudie and the resident alien will have a 7 year age gap between them. Whilst I am all for sibling bonds I am most certainly NOT cut out to be a mom of two babies/small children. Hence, the age gap between my boys… I do worry that they will not “click” right away but¬†as with anything you cannot predict the future. My wish is that my boys create and find “their own special brotherly bond”.

Is it fair or OK to pass on things?Do you feel neglected as a second child?

The competitiveness…First born vs last born? The resident alien is not even born yet and already I am picking up competitive vibes from Dudie. And No it’s not anything that we have said or done but Dudie had a problem with the name that we I have chosen for his little brother. Yes, imagine that. To quote my 6 soon to be 7 year old, in exactly 8 days he will be 7 – he promptly reminds me daily of how many days are left until his birthday “that name is too powerful for my little brother”. I shit you not. When did this boy get sooo¬†smart? And who in the hell of it old him which names are powerful? Oh my, this is but a sliver of what I can look forward to with my spirited Dudie. This kid is song willed…
Does it create sibling rivalry? Dude and I had this conversation the other day and granted I agree that if the parent makes a fuss about it the second child might feel somewhat neglected or begin to realise that this might not be normal behaviour. Although, I have always given Dudie¬†things to family and charity my Dude had a valid question…”Why is the stuff not good enough for the resident alien? Honestly, I couldn’t think of a valid reason. Perhaps it’s the mommy guilt of wanting to give my boys everything¬†I possibly can. And wanting to give the resident alien his “own” things?

I foresee a journey full of discovery for the Spirited Household. I hope that we all embrace the changes with love, respect and dignity…

Happy bonding.

Spirited Mama

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I chose these random images as I didn’t think anyone would want me posting pictures of their kids on my blog…and well the resident alien is still in utero so how do you think I would get a picture of my boys together…

The Struggle…

Today was one of those day s where I needed motivation, and to just keep calm, etc etc. Briefly, Dudie decided to pee in my bed… of course this happened after Dude left for work. I felt the warm sensation against my leg. I got up, showered and then woke the sleeping child who was not in the least disturbed by sleeping on his pee????

I bath child, ask 100 times that he please brush his front teeth! This is my daily battle. I proceed to put sheets and jammies, mind you I just put fresh linen on the bed yesterday!!!!, in the washing machine. Eventually, Dudie gets going and I try to get dressed. Well first pants I put on, too big, second pants hugs in all the areas I DID not want it too, third time lucky I choose my normal black pants and grey top.

I hurriedly look for the car keys only to realise that my darling husband had them yesterday and drove off this morning with car keys in his bakkie! Thank Gloria we have spare keys. I locate them and proceed to pack car. I get the Dudie out of the house and TA DA!!!! The freaking fuel reserve is on! WTF! I swear that thing is faulty. Saturday I had a 1/4 tank but this morning it was empty? We did not drive the car yesterday?(Note to self Рget car checked)

I decided that I’m late as it is… MIght as well stop now for fuel. Garage 1 – the queue¬†stretches into the main road. Garage 2 – success. We get helped almost immediately. One guy fuels us up and one starts cleaning the¬†windscreen. Only the guy was done with fuel, swiped my card, only to have his colleague dash off to help someone else and leaving me with a half washed windscreen. I left with a half washed windscreen!

I drive 200m and I’m stuck in gridlocked traffic. Up until now, I don’t know why! BUT my 7km drive took 55 mins this morning!!!!! I get to school, only to confront the¬†Vice-Principal¬†about a bullying incident. (I’ll post on that later) My Dudie is soft spoken¬†and loveable, he will not fight just because! So we wait to hear the outcome on Thursday after all the meetings!!!!

Thank Gloria Dudie was happy and merry and a pleasant fellow passenger. I get to the Gautrain¬†station. Now, I’ve missed 3 trains and I’ve made peace that I’m running late…. But our train made an unscheduled stop outside a station and there we sat on the tracks.¬† So apart from my brother’s shocking news that he’ll be getting married in 4 weeks and my Dude’s sister being a biatch…. my day was rather eventful.

Upon getting to work, I decided enough already… We always try and¬†solve the¬†world’s problems, ok mainly family but you get the point. And it ALWAYS impacts US as a couple/family. We stress and fret and worry and they carry on. Happily living their lives. Well I’ve had enough. I will NOT bend over backwards for my brother and his girlfriend, who just told me that she insisted that they get married!!!! WTF! They have a child who’s turning 1 in April. So why rush into a wedding? I told my Dude that his sister is a mental biatch!

And then I remembered this….

The struggle you are in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Don’t give up!

So I keep my head high. I’m going home to MY Dude and Dudie. And I will bask in the magic of MY family! We are a spirited family but we LOVE hard!

Spirited Mama

xoxox

The morning after Christmas

It is just after 1am and I’m vegging out on the couch waiting for my washing machine to finish its cycle… I washed 4table cloths. ¬†I cleaned the kitchen, mopped the floors and packed away all the food, read squeezed everything into the fridge as I’m worried it gets too hot and the food will go off.

What an awesome Christmas we had. We started with midnight mass at 23:00, Church need at 12:30ish, on route home Dude stopped to pick up McDonalds for us. ¬†We had McD’s and champagne at 1am. Dude, my gran, her sister, myself, and all whilst Dudie slept. We played Christmas music, laughed, ate,drank, face timed family, and eventually got to bed just before 3am. Dudie script into our bed in the wee hours of the morning, I was too tired to notice. We eventually got up after 7, did a “just wing it” breakfast and proceeded to Finish the food.

We had gammon, leg of lamb, beef roast, chicken, seafood, oxtail,veggies, salad, etc…. Oh and ice-cream, trifle and cake….cupcakes too. All for 6adults and 3 kids. What a feast we had. And how delicious it was. We laughed and had champagne, tequila coffee, beers, savannas, water, juice and sodas…. We played dominoes, shared memories created new new memories too. This was definitely a very special Christmas for all f us. One that we will talk about for a very very very long time to come.

im having a leftover cheese burger and a glass of milk. Going to hang out my table cloths and then I’m off dreamland¬†as I know it won’t be long until Dudie wakes up. That child does not sleep later¬†than 7:30am…..

i do hope that you all had a blessed merry Christmas.

Spiritedmama

xoxoxo

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Feel Good moments

So I saw this on someone’s profile and absolutely had to steal it ūüôā

This sums up exactly how I feel each and every time¬†I look at Dudie, and being showered with hugs and kisses….. Gets me everytime. tehre¬†was ever a spontaneous hug/kiss/holding hands/etc from either parent…. But that’s one of those sad posts and definitely not fit for today.>

 I love you to the end of the earth and back, baby boy! ALways and forever. Never too much!

Love

Your Mom

P.S. I adore the fact that he makes me late every single morning because he makes me walk back to his door, because he didn’t “good morning me”… That means he wants to kiss me again. This can take a while some mornings!!! And even though I think that we are so late, I still share “our” moment.

P.P.S. The Dudie has now resorted to calling Dude and I by our first names. BUT only in public spaces. At home we are mom and dad. This child is way to smart ūüôā