Derailed and binge drinking

Not me…the baby…Troll is binge drinking. At first I thought it was growth spurts but it has become a daily occurrence and I guess this is just what he does. I really think I should just connect the tube from my breast pump directly from breast to Troll…

My plans are being DERAILED. Clearly I have forgotten how long it takes to get out of the house with a new baby. Just to get to PicknPay, which is literally across the road from our house, takes forever. I swear it’ll be quicker if I sent one of the dogs with a note and some cash to bring back the goods.

One Sunday I had a plan of action for the day. We would go to church, go to Checkers straight after the service because the toilet paper was on special. BabySoft hasn’t been R79.95 since forever. I wrote about our use of Toilet Paper here.

Then I wanted to stop at Woolworths because I have a gift voucher to pamper myself. And I had to change baby clothes because we had duplicates, a gift we received when I already bought the exact same outfit for Troll.

Well, this is how my plan of action actually went down:

We skipped Church because I just didn’t want to wake the sleeping baby. My 7 year old said “Mom you can just pray harder here at home.” Then my 7 year old took an eternity to get done. In between Troll kept feeding as if it was the end of the world. Me having a hissy fit because the 7 year old showers for an eternity and yet he is the first to preach that we should save water. Oh and then Dude, aka the husband, messages me that he needs to go to PicknPay after work but we should enjoy our outing. I responded that we were going nowhere slowly. At 11am I put Troll down for a nap. I hurriedly dust the bedrooms, get the eldest child dressed and ready for the day. I fold the clothes from the dryer and put the next load. I never hang the laundry. I tumble dry EVERYTHING. Even the ones that say DO NOT tumble dry. I take a quick shower. I nibble on some biltong because with a new baby you kinda forget to eat nevermind make a proper lunch. Then the 7 year old is calling for food. I waiting for Dude to get home from work, just to offer me a few minutes of respite. I look at the clock and think shit it’s only 12:35 but it feels like bedtime again.

Well that’s that. I ate some fruit and some yoghurt. I’ve learnt to stock up on food that you can snack on whilst breastfeeding or handling the baby…One-handed operations only. I never got to PicknPay, neither did I make it to Checkers or Woolworths. I sat down and realised shit I still wanted to go to Makro as well. What used to be a seamless operation now takes forever and a day, planning and coordinated movements…all just to get to the shops with two kids by my side.

I always pack two baby bags. One to take with us when we leave the house and an emergency backup if we need to rush out. My 7 year old always grabs snacks for the road, albeit just to PicknPay across the road. I kid you not. Dude will attest to that.

How do you manage with kid(s)? I only have two but some days it feels like I have twenty…

#thestruggleisreal

Spirited Mama

P.S. My 7 year old says “Mom if you don’t want to smell like the baby vomit just wash with water and soap and you can smell like you”. The honesty of this child sometimes…

 

My proverbial death

Well in 2016, I took a leap in faith and decided that if it is in God’s plan for us to have another baby then we will. I left it in God’s hands. I am a control freak but this was the one decision that I knew I couldn’t make on my own. I needed intervention but I needed God’s intervention, as I just wasn’t sure if we were making the right decision. Turns out God wanted us to have another son. I was nervous as hell as I pee’d on a stick…do you know that both times Dude predicted I was pregnant before I realised it. And he was spot on both times. Maybe he knew something I didn’t. In 2016 when I saw those two lines I was shocked that I didn’t believe it to be true. Dude set out to buy a digital test and it was confirmed again. I was pregnant. If I could do my own blood test I would have.

Fast forward to 2017 and we welcomed our resident alien, another son richer. For the sake of this blog we will call him “Troll” as Dude has dubbed him. A blessing indeed. Life as we knew it changed completely. As much as I tried to prepare my oldest son, Dudie who is 7years old, I neglected to prepare myself…Suddenly, there was a new man in my life who needed me. Every ounce of me. Day and night. To say that I’m tired or even exhausted is an understatement. How did I neglect to prepare myself. Well that was so easy. Whilst helping everyone else make the transition and preparing the baby room I kinda got so wrapped up in it all that I never took a moment to understand or even allow myself to embrace this new change. I was ecstatic and consumed with the happy that I never allowed myself to say goodbye to the old me. Much like I didn’t do 7 years ago when Dudie was born. No one can prepare you for motherhood. Well not for YOUR unique individual experience as a parent.

Troll weighed 4kg at birth. I shit you not. Me, I birthed a 4kg baby…I might do a separate post about it. I didn’t struggle to lose the baby weight as Troll literally suck me dry. But who was I kidding trying to wear my push  up underwire bra….it’s a killer especially when your boobs fill up with milk.

Who knew I would sing “Jesus loves me” a gazillion trillion times….cos the baby seems calmer when I sing it. And 75% of time he drifts off to sleep listening to my singing. Maybe I could make a career out of it on You Tube…one can wish can’t I.

I am breastfeeding mom. Was with Dudie too. But my golly these kids of mine can suck me dry. Sometimes I think my body can’t keep up with their milk demand. Dudie breastfed exclusively for 5months then went on a boob strike and from then I expressed for a further 3 months. Then I was done, my hopes of breastfeeding for a year didn’t quite materialise. Troll is also being breastfed currently. If we can make it to 6 months I’d be happy but If we can last 1 year that’ll be great.

Just as with Dudie, I am back in my normal old clothes again very soon after having Troll. But I have a tummy roll. Omg the dreaded roll. Dudie asked me the other day when the lines on my tummy will disappear. I responded with “Never. It reminds me that I have you and your brother”. And he also asked if I store Troll’s milk in my boobies…this child of mine has no filter…but I love him.

There have been dark days where both kids have drove me completely batty. Especially during Dudie’s school run. Someone is always hungry. Someone always poops as we need to leave. Someone is always unhappy about something.

Then there have been great days where Dudie is showered and ready whilst I’ve still got Troll stuck on my boob. Everyone is happy and the morning is as smooth as baby shit.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. I love being a mom. I just think that I need to stop being so hard on myself. But how can I. How can I drop my own standards. If mom doesn’t do xyz, the wheels on the bus go STOP. If mom doesn’t cook then chances are we WON’T eat supper by 6pm which then means Dudie is in the snack cupboard and snacking like a savage dog.

How am I the only one seeing that if we break out of routine the shit hits the fan?

Let’s not even get started on Dudie’s homework, oral presentations, projects etc…he is only in grade 2 and I swear this child’s homework will be the end of me. We fight and there have been times where I relieve myself from homework duty but I end up with a 7 year old crying his eyes out cos he needs me. His words exactly. He needs me. Mommy must do homework with him.

Being a mom to my two boys is a blessing and yes I am extremely greatful. BUT this mom needs a break. This mom needs a mom retreat. Soon. Before I lose my marbles. I have so many draft posts that I just don’t get around to finishing right now. Life is so busy. And when I have a few minutes to spare you can bet your pennies I’ll be hurriedly busy trying to finish something, read housework, cos otherwise that too just piles up. Life lately is consumed with laundry. Everyday. I kid you not. You can stop over anyday and I bet you will find the washing machine on or the tumble dryer or the load waiting to be washed. Whoever came up with the idea that mom needs to sleep when the baby sleeps was either completely insane or most likely had someone to do each and everything that comes with running a household and family….

I am NOT  the same person I used to be. In fact I am a new me. I’m not even sure I want the old me back but I do know that I miss snippets of the old me. Somewhere when Dudie turned 5 I felt like a person again. Not just a mom. Now throw in the Troll and it feels like I’m back to being just “Mom”.

I get that there are Dads who are very hands on, and granted Dude does help ALOT at home. But what is up with the “mom guilt”? Why can Dad decide to go fish and sleep out with his buddies but if Mom says she is NOT coming home tonight it’s the end of the world? Happy mom happy family right?

Do you do mom retreats?

I’m going to start my own trend #momcation

Spirited Mama

P.S. Troll is 14 weeks old already…where have I been these past 14 weeks??? Feels like a dream.

Dinner conversations

We are fortunate in the Spirited household that I work half day. Dudie and I get home anywhere between 13:00 – 15:00, depending on the extra mural activities for the day. EXCEPT on Fridays. We do not compromise our FRIDAY! We have no extra murals and all shopping excursions is left for any day of the week EXCEPT Friday!

Granted Dudie and I are home early during the day and generally Dude is home by 16:00 everyday. We get to have to have a family dinner roughly 18:00 -18:30, you know those ones we see on TV and think fcuk how do they eat that early everyday…well half day JOB = early family dinner time

Our dinner time conversations are roughly about catching up on each other’s day and reminding one another to look at our “schedules” on the board. I am OCD with schedules and lists…I don’t like MAJOR surprises or curveballs. I like to plan and know what’s happening. On most nights this is how it goes…

(This is how it plays off in Dude’s mind)

Me: blah blah blah…so the other kid at swimming blah

Dudie: (interrupts whilst I am still talking) Daddy can I tell you something? Blah blah Blah

Dude: Stares blankly and says WHOA one at a time.

My Dude basically has a hissy fit because we are talking simultaneously. Well let me just add that Dudie sometimes forget to wait until someone is done speaking before going off on a tangent with his own story. That boy will sometimes ask and answer the very question he has just posed to you.

I want to die everytime I have to repeat myself cos who listens to the mom/wife anyway? Dude is so guilty of this. he will literally look me in the eye and “listen” but 5 minutes later asked me  to repeat what I said cos he didn’t hear me….

Our dinner conversations are filled with fun and laughter but sometimes we prefer to have some quiet time too. BUt the other night the boys were cracking jokes. I moaned  the resident alien is super busy and kicking the daylights out of me. Dudie comes to check and gets a kick on the hand. I said everytime the resident alien moves I poke him. Dudie pipes up: So poke him! I snort laughed and sprayed them and the spinach rolls with coffee….which was in my mouth. I did apologise because being pregnant I constantly need to pee and a laugh/sneeze can make me pee my pants #pregnancyjoys Unfortunately for them I sprayed the coffee, fortunately for me I managed to hold my pee.

Oh and NO, there is still NO baby. This boy is making keeping us in suspense. Last week Wednesday, Dr was convinced things are happening, I.e. My cervix is softening and I was 1-2cm dialated. yesterday I walked around at Monte Casino. BUT NOTHING!!!

I will see the Dr later today and we will figure out what is happening with this boy.

Spirited Mama

Admitted…

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I know, I know, “life is what happens when you making other plans…John Lennon”.

I find it rather ironic that I am in hospital and my bag and the resident alien’s bag is no where near being packed. I can already hear Mamma telling me that as soon as I get home I’d better pack my bag as well as the resident alien’s bag.

Side note: Somewhere in my 8th month of pregnancy with Dudie, I was admitted to hospital. No bags packed. Nothing. As soon as I got home, Mamma made me pack our bags just in case.

Well currently I am #27weeks pregnant and was admitted yesterday. I can hear Mamma tell me to pack our bags already.

Guess what I will be doing when I get home. I need to get a hospital bag🤔🙄

And over the weekend Dude was saying that we still have loads of time before the baby arrives. Really? I think we all got a wake up call. We need to be prepared…

I am in private room in hospital. I am actually grateful because I think I need the solitude right now.

Spirited Mama

P.S. There is still so much that needs to be done. I am not quite ready yet….

Stop and play with the bubblewrap

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Sometimes we get so busy and forget to just enjoy our present situations and be grateful for our blessings. Dudie and I are in a foul space. We are constantly bickering and quite frankly I’m not sure why. I am concerned that it may have something to do with the impending arrival of the resident alien, who is due in 13 weeks. Could it be a result of him not wanting to share my attention? Could it be that I am talking about the baby more and more?

Dude started painting the baby room, we had a slight mishap read here if you missed it, but thankfully that is now fixed. Soon we will no longer be 3 but 4 humans in the Spirited household.

As much as it is an adjustment for the adults, I cannot even begin to imagine how my 7yr old must feel. Suddenly, there will be a cute, cuddly and sweet smelling person in our family ALL the time. Suddenly, he needs to share his mom and dad with a sibling. It must be rough.

I am hoping that Dudie and the resident alien will become bosom friends and that they will share a love and connection so strong that nothing and no one can ever break it.

As for now, it is finally Friday. It feels like this week has taken forever. I am tired and my feet are swollen, #27weekspregnant .

I received a package the other day but I will share that news another day. My Dudie was way more excited for the bubblewrap in the box. Even the dog got into playing with the bubblewrap. Dude wanted to throw the bubblewrap away and Dudie protested. As pictured above even the dog went to lie on the bubblewrap to keep Dude from throwing it away.

It’s the small things, like watching Dudie and the dog, find their joy in playing with bubblewrap that fills my soul. I too have a love for bubblewrap. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I NEED to slow down, not because #Iampregnant but because I will miss out on the best patts of life if I continue to rush through it.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. We had a freak storm last night and again at 1am this morning.

P.P.S I am taking the morning off to feed my unborn baby butter biscuits and lie in bed, whilst Dudie is at school.

Paint me like a….

paint

So yesterday the Dude gets home and is now ready to paint the resident alien’s, aka new baby’s, room. Granted we bought paint a few weeks ago. We even have new paint for our bedroom. Baby room Plascon Double velvet – a soft powdery blue, our room Dulux Colours of the World – Soulful Kenya.

Dude starts painting whilst I’m starting dinner. Something nudges me to go check if the stuff is covered in the room. I get there….and I say as calm as possible uhm what are you doing?”

Granted when I have “that” calm voice you should run because that is when I actually want to use some profanity but I digress and keep calm. Ironically, Dude chose the paint for the baby room. I had a general idea of the color but he chose the final product.

What did he do? He painted the baby room with our paint, the Soulful Kenya colour. Thankfully it was only half of the one wall.

I walked away and laughed it off as I continued in the kitchen.

He did fix it. And now the resident alien’s room is looking very nice. He also started painting our room. I would say with touch ups and finishes here and there we should have two newly painted rooms before the end of this week.

I am excited because frankly a fresh coat of paint is like a whole new room all together. Now to get some decor for the baby room.

Yes, you may laugh out loud. I told you before these things really happen in Spiritville. I do not make these things up.

Spirited Mama

P.S. So the USA got TRUMPED! I am gobsmacked.

Preparing for baby..

Whoa!!!! this shit just got real…I can’t believe how expensive things are….

I don’t even know who is more shocked…me or my bank balance. 7 years ago I almost died at the sight of the price tags of baby essentials but walking into Baby City a few weeks ago was mind boggling. I left with….nothing. I kid you not I was so shocked that I decided that I needed to regroup and clear my head. I needed a game plan and essential shopping list.

OMG, Thank goodness I still have my babysense sling and sleepy sack that I bought for Dudie when he was born. This child of mine only used his sling until he could peep out and actually see that there is activity beyond that sling so he needs to be sitting upright and checking out his surroundings. And that was the beginning of the end. Thereafter he only ever wanted to be on the floor so I packed away our sling. Here’s hoping that we will put it to good use when the new baby arrives… Now, although this is only my opinion of the essentials one would require for a new baby, in no way am I saying that your offspring will become the next president or world renowned scientist, please remember that we all have different needs and priorities. Of course as parents we only want the best for our offspring but hell man it can break your bank account.

Essential must haves:

Jogger Pram/stroller – sorted as I still have Dudie’s.

Camp cot – sorted as I still have Dudie’s.

infant/newborn car seat – sorted still Dudie’s, but I could get a new more padded version

bath compactum – sorted still Dudie’s.

bath seat and pillow – sorted still Dudie’s.

baby monitor – you guessed it, still Dudie’s.

thermometer – Dudie’s but need to check if it is still in a good working condition.

breast pump – frantically looking for it in the house as OMG it costs a small fortune.

pacifier -Dudie used his for 8weeks and the weaned himself off of it. Will buy some…

bottles- I used Dr Browns and Nuk with Dudie… Will buy new ones as I haven’t even checked what the old one’s look like…maybe I should just leave it at that and buy new ones.

wet wipes you can never have enough wet wipes. Dudie is 6 and at any given time you can walk into our house and you’d be guaranteed to find random packets of wet wipes in the house and even cars.

nappies, nappies, nappies

telement drops

telement gripewater

lansinoh nipple cream – it saved my nipples the last time.

bio oil – I guess its just my genetics but those stretchmarks still make their appearance….but love the bio oil nonetheless.

 

Now no list would be complete without a few tons of nice to haves….

baby rocker – still need to investigate this but love the concept

activity playmat -I only found the poles of our previous one….no mat but I did find the monkey that hangs from the bars. I could just make my own and connect those pipes to each other and let the resident alien lie on a mat soft mattress…but someone might just report me to the welfare

those pretty babysense burp cloths

babywrap because I love the idea of wearing my offspring. I loved my sling, pity Dudie didn’t want to use it longer.

a baby bag which will double as Mom’s handbag for the next 12 months…We all dream of this glamorous image of a new mom but in reality it is just convenient and much much less time consuming to pop your own essentials into the baby bag.

a new car seat – even though we kind of have this sorted I would like a new one though…just died at the sight of the price tags…

a new baby monitor – we have the very basic one but wow have you seen the fancy monitors these days.

shares in Pampers because you won’t believe how much money you will spend on nappies…I kid you not. Can someone let me know how I can buy shares in Pampers….

A decorator to do the new baby room….we seriously need some inspiration/ideas for a nursery/little boy’s room.

a few breakaways for mom….just me time…a peaceful night’s sleep, uninterrupted, preferably in a high end hotel with amazing room service so that I can just stay in my pjs the whole day.

a new car- ok maybe this is taking it too far but I can dream can’t I?

a Personal trainer to get back my pre preggie body…

A chef/cook, like that little old lady from the fattis and Monis tv ad. The one they used to keep locked away in the broom closet. She would make life so much easier and we could literally just ooh and aahhh over the baby all day long. (found the ad on Youtube)

In essence, you don’t need all those fancy designer clothes as your precious baby grows out it so fast. Sometimes they outgrow clothes they never even wore…don’t get me wrong it’s lovely to dress this new sweet smelling baby but believe me they poop and puke all the same in ordinary clothes just as they will in designer brands…

Currently, I am trying to figure out should I go get that wax at Sorbet or buy the damn PregOmega….Newly waxed vjay jay vs fishy burps daily…Just kidding…I will get the PregOmega vitamins. I used it with Dudie and it definitely made a difference then and now. Just got back from my wax download

I am already actively looking for a nursery school even whilst the resident alien is still in utero. It baffles me that I need to pay a deposit to secure his spot for 2017….its days liked these that I feel I should have a money tree in the backyard. Just go pick some money as and when I need it.

Happy baby prepping…

Spirited Mama