To my first born. You ARE a good child!

Where is the time flying to???

You know that moment when you realise your baby isn’t a baby anymore….Dudie is 7 years old. 7!!! He used to call me mommy/mama now it’s just mom. Sometimes he even uses my first name, bless this child. He is so independent but yet still so dependent on mom. Where did the last 7 years go?

One minute I was looking at a 3.4kg chubby face whom I had just birthed and the next he is in Grade 2. Somedays I miss your incessant staring at me and in the same breath I look forward to watching you grow into a handsome young man. A man who will become the object of some woman’s affection yet you will always be the object of my heart and soul.

From the moment I heard your first cry, you literally came screaming into this world, I knew you were destined for great things. Some things will be discovered later but for now, we support you in whatever you want to do. We want to give all the opportunities possible. We want you to explore, to live, to dream. To find your happiness. And wow, you have proven to be an all rounder…and we are SUPER proud of you. In any and everything you give it your best shot.

Your friends look up to you. Somedays I think you are the cool kid but you nonchalantly wave me off and just hang out with your friends. Adults comment on your excellent behaviour. I smile proudly and take the compliment whilst quietly thinking to myself “You aint seen this monkey when he loses his shit”. You are a good child and don’t you ever forget that. Somedays you just fall by the wayside…just as many of us adults do. It’s life, it happens. You know how sometimes you tell me my face has an angry stare but I insist that I am fine. Well, that is mom falling by the wayside. Or when mom doesn’t seem her talkative self, yip that is mom falling by the wayside.

In essence, I want you to know that not everyone is good at everything all the time. So when you do fall by the wayside, cut yourself some slack and don’t be so hard on yourself. At the tender age of 7 years I see how hard you are on yourself. And I know you don’t want to disappoint us. Remember what we always say: “Just try your best. You should be proud of yourself. Your best is good enough for us and should be for you too.”

You are a good child. And I am blessed to call you my son. My love for you is fierce. And it burns like a roaring fire in my soul. I am sorry that it doesn’t always seem that way though.

I love you my child. Be fearless. Discover. Go on adventures. Go live YOUR best life.

Spirited Mama

P.S. Today was a typical day where the wheels fell off the bus. I got you up and going happy bedhead and all. Somewhere in between me calmly, I promise I was calm and there was no shouting, asking you to get done for the millionth time you lost your shit with me. You went off on a tangent and then I got the dreaded “you give Troll more attention than me”. OMG! Really? I will need to rethink this situation as I really don’t think it’s true but I will merit your concerns and address them. I do think we are going through a difficult patch as you are struggling to manage your emotions. And I do think Troll definitely  makes a huge impact on the situation right now. (Adulting and parenting is hard…🙈)

Last night was opening night for your Concert. As always, the moment you take the stage my tears roll. I am so proud of you, how confident you are, how much you pour your heart and sould into everything you do. When I offered you a sandwich, you politely declined because you didn’t want to ruin the makeup 😂😂😂

Currently in Spiritville

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Last night Dudie received a certificate at his prize giving…drum roll..for MERITORIOUS ACHIEVEMENT IN MATHEMATICS in Grade 1. Whoa! this kid only told us that we needed to attend and that he will be getting a certificate. No clue what for. Nada. He was mute about it. He is such a modest child. We are SUPER proud of him. Of course we had to celebrate and at his request for Sushi, we tried out the newly revamped Ocean Basket @MenlynPark. Wow, lovely. We will be back soon. We were a bit stuffed so we agreed that we could do a special dessert over the weekend.

The other night, I was getting so hot so I woke Dude in the wee hours of the morning to ask him to switch on the aircon. He happily obliged, switched the aircon on and went back to sleep. The next morning he says “WTF, why did you wake me to put the aircon on?” My response – The remote is on your side… He says he’s going to put a glass of water on my side and wake me during the night for a drink…

We are torn between slaving away behind the stove to cook Christmas lunch or whether to dine out this year. For us it is the preparation rather than the actual eating of the meal that is our festive spirit!

We only have 10 weeks left before we are a family of four. Mom, Dad, Dudie and the resident alien. Need to give him a spirited name as he cannot be the resident alien forever.

Today is the 1st of December. Tonight we haul out the Christmas tree and transform our home into a festive place. We will be indulging in chocolate and of course Christmas carols. The countdown to Christmas has finally begun, even though I have not done any Christmas shopping. We have been very pre-occupied with the resident alien but even his nursery isn’t done. I haven’t bought everything that I need or want…

Oh, and I still haven’t packed our hospital bags.

My pet peeve for December – Dude wants to go away for an impromptu weekend. In December! He does this every year and every year I say well then YOU find a place to go to because people book a December getaway a year in advance. Any suggestions? Will have to be in Gauteng though as I don’t want to venture too far from my Doctor or hospital.

Here’s to 2016 Festivities!

Spirited Mama

 

Stop and play with the bubblewrap

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Sometimes we get so busy and forget to just enjoy our present situations and be grateful for our blessings. Dudie and I are in a foul space. We are constantly bickering and quite frankly I’m not sure why. I am concerned that it may have something to do with the impending arrival of the resident alien, who is due in 13 weeks. Could it be a result of him not wanting to share my attention? Could it be that I am talking about the baby more and more?

Dude started painting the baby room, we had a slight mishap read here if you missed it, but thankfully that is now fixed. Soon we will no longer be 3 but 4 humans in the Spirited household.

As much as it is an adjustment for the adults, I cannot even begin to imagine how my 7yr old must feel. Suddenly, there will be a cute, cuddly and sweet smelling person in our family ALL the time. Suddenly, he needs to share his mom and dad with a sibling. It must be rough.

I am hoping that Dudie and the resident alien will become bosom friends and that they will share a love and connection so strong that nothing and no one can ever break it.

As for now, it is finally Friday. It feels like this week has taken forever. I am tired and my feet are swollen, #27weekspregnant .

I received a package the other day but I will share that news another day. My Dudie was way more excited for the bubblewrap in the box. Even the dog got into playing with the bubblewrap. Dude wanted to throw the bubblewrap away and Dudie protested. As pictured above even the dog went to lie on the bubblewrap to keep Dude from throwing it away.

It’s the small things, like watching Dudie and the dog, find their joy in playing with bubblewrap that fills my soul. I too have a love for bubblewrap. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I NEED to slow down, not because #Iampregnant but because I will miss out on the best patts of life if I continue to rush through it.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. We had a freak storm last night and again at 1am this morning.

P.P.S I am taking the morning off to feed my unborn baby butter biscuits and lie in bed, whilst Dudie is at school.

Japanese teaches MANNERS before KNOWLEDGE

I saw this over on the Mumetoes facebook page and it got me thinking.

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Dudie is currently finishing off Grade 1. If I think about the beginning of this year , how my child came home one day in a flat spin because he is starting to write weekly tests. This was a MAJOR thing for Dudie. He was freaking out. Nowhere have we ever pressurized him about tests etc. Somehow someone must have told him that he should be worried about tests.

Side note – Both Dude and I study and still write exams. We never let our stress show or cause this child anxiety when it is our exam periods.

We have always encouraged the behaviour – YOUR BEST IS GOOD ENOUGH. Everyone is unique. Everyone differs intellectually. You can only give your best. And you should be happy with giving your best.

Seeing this extract about MANNERS before KNOWLEDGE resonated with me. This is exactly how we try to teach and educate Dudie. And hopefully we can do so with the resident alien too.

In my opinion, even if you are a total genius if your manners suck – I WILL THINK THAT YOU ARE AN ARSEHOLE and quite possibly NOT associate with you. I think that some people are too focussed on the ACADEMIC side rather than raising a well-balanced, well-mannered individual. Dudie’s school is very strict on raising well-rounded individuals. It was one of the main deciding factors for choosing that school.

What is your take on this?

Spirited Mama

P.S. I can not believe that I am 27 weeks pregnant already. Freaking out a little as the time is nearing…

WTStikeez….

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I can’t believe Stikeez are back to haunt me. #Pnp and #Stikeez2 you are killing me… I can’t handle it. I was impressed #Pnp when you brought out your animal sound cards because hell at least it was informative. And Dudie soon forgot about his rubbery Stikeez that I needed to account for daily and ensure that none of the dogs choked on it. Somehow the dogs just loved these damn Stikeez as much as the child.

So the other day Duide randomly request that we go to Pnp to get “stuff”. I asked what stuff as we didn’t need anything that I was aware of. Then the truth prevailed…(This child was so excited and even had a twinkle in his eye much like the one I will have if I have financial independence and “free” money) The Stikeez people were at school and gave them some of the “new’ Stikeez and he absolutely cannot live without the others…My response ‘”I am so happy for you but unfortunately I will not be going to Pnp today and I will not be bamboozled into getting those Stikeez.  We head home.

Fast forward to when Dude walks into the house and announces he needs to go to Pnp for some stuff – it was his night to cook (somehow he never cooks what is readily available at home). Dudie (always reluctant to go to the shops) is already waiting at the door to go. So we head out to Pnp and boy oh boy was Dudie ecstatic about his Stikeez. In fact he is already planning to swop a duplicate.

I am at a loss for words. Stikeez2 when will you leave already?

We did have a good dinner though – Creamy prawns cooked on the Cadac Skottel outside cos it was just so lovely to sit outside…It is SO hot in Pretoria right now. At the rate that we using the aircons Eskom will be loadshedding our house soon…Sorry Eskom I just can’t NOT have the aircons on.creamy-prawns

Spirited Mama

My bones are UPGRADING…

As we were getting ready for the school day this morning Dudie comes limping into the kitchen and announces that he will now go and undress (note – he is fully dressed in school attire sans his jersey) as his stomach and legs and just all the bones are aching…I politely (read – I don’t have time for this shot this morning) say NO you most certainly will not. YOU will go to school. Please go and get done in your room and come sit down for breakfast. And don’t even think about moping around… Off he goes and comes back now fully kitted in school attire but being the rebel that he refuses to tie his one shoe lace.

Now I put his cereal and milk on the table for him so he literally just pours the milk into the bowl and has to eat. Dudie stands next to the table stares at the bowl and decided stuff it he is drinking his Airmune aka water medicine as we call it, and then just continues staring at this bowl. I announce aka warn that I am packing the car and we are leaving in 2 minutes, so eat if you want to. He just glares at me.

I come back and say right let’s move. Dudie now wants to pour milk into his bowl. I calmly state the obvious that he has now run out of time and that he will not have cereal this morning. (I have spoilt this child for far to long… Previously I would have sat down and just allowed him to have his cereal. But no more.) I say you can have a yoghurt or an apple on the way. Decide. He chooses the apple and off we go. Our drive to school is only about 5km’s and usually takes about 10 – 15 minutes but given that Dudie can distract himself from reality that time is not enough to eat that small apple… 2 minutes into the drive he pipes up, Mom should I eat the apple first or have my vitamin(I gave him a centrum chew tablet at home and he politely just kept it in his hand). Me – whatever just have it before we get to school.

Dudie is super proud and so are we of the fact that he can read. And I mean read proper words and sentences read. So he spells a few words so that I can help him with the pronunciation.

Me: Dudie if your bones are aching then how will you play soccer tomorrow? Remember you have a soccer match tomorrow.

Dudie: It’s fine. My bones are upgrading. It only takes like 20 hours so it’ll be done tomorrow. My legs, toes , ears and elbows are already done. So its just the other bones that need to upgrade.

I swear there is a reason why we face forward whilst driving with kids….I laugh internally and made a note to LOL later.Then Dudie changes the topic to heros and superheros. He then proceeds to tell me about how Superman dies in Batman VS Superman (note this is NOT my kind of movie and Dude and Dudie have seen it a few times) but somehow I am just not getting it. Mind you am trying to weave through the traffic and to ensure that cross over safely onto the school premises, so excuse me for not focusing 0n Batman or Superman. Dudie now clearly becomes annoyed with me and just says, It’s fine that you don’t get it. It’s complicated!

Seriously, my 6 year old telling me “it’s complicated” really??? Where did this child morph from? This is the product of a Spirited, strong willed, head strong, opinionated household….and we are adding another little person to this dynamic in Spiritville. Fun times lie ahead of us…

Happy Friday. My bones will be upgrading this weekend. Parenting can be hard at times but also SO rewarding and funny. Love this child! He reminds to laugh a little…and not be so serious all the time.

Spirited Mama

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Siblings – building solid lasting relationships

The thought of Dudie growing up alone has always haunted me and for a very long long long time I wrestled with the idea of having another child. Well 2016 was apparently the year that we decided was a good year to grow Spiritville. In case you were not aware, yes we have a resident alien aka baby, due in Feb 2017…

The idea of having another little person to take care and be my responsibility until the day that I leave this earth is causing some lots of anxiety. But the idea is growing on me and luckily at a much faster rate than my belly…We are excited and nervous and happy and scared all at the same time. There is no handbook to guide you to raise your perfect little angel. We can only hope and pray that what we are doing and teaching our kid(s) will be sufficient for them to become admirable, strong, focused, resilient young adults someday…

Another pressing thought that has been weighing me down is the age gap between Dudie and the resident alien…they will have a SEVEN year gap. Now, I have always said that I am not cut out for two babies and if I ever had another child I will not have them on top of one another. A seven year gaps does give me some sort of a paralysed feeling because doing the math I realised that we would have a teenager and a toddler in the house. When Dudie starts high school, grade 8, then the resident alien would start grade 1…

This morning I found an article on ALL4WOMEN, fostering a strong relationship between siblings. It resonated with me not only because I have a sibling and although we have a 9 year age gap, I’m the older one, but also because I don’t think my parents actively tried to foster a stronger relationship between us. We, my brother and I, are steadily working on our relationship currently. Perhaps my parents just thought that we were generations apart and that they were unsure of how to salvage the gap in our relationship… I am keeping my anxiety at bay and trying to be proactive to foster a relationship between Dudie and his unborn brother…Oh yes, IT’S A BOY!!!

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I will constantly try my best to ensure that MY TWO boys will know that they are blood brothers and no matter what nothing and no one can take that away from them. What they make of their relationship is up to them but for as long as what I am around I will encourage, love and support their relationship.

Happy Friday!

Spirited Mama

P.S. Mamma had a biopsy but now we wait with baited breath. We will only know what the plan of action/way forward is next week once all the doctors have decided…If you missed it then read the post When CANCER happens…My family fights back