Derailed and binge drinking

Not me…the baby…Troll is binge drinking. At first I thought it was growth spurts but it has become a daily occurrence and I guess this is just what he does. I really think I should just connect the tube from my breast pump directly from breast to Troll…

My plans are being DERAILED. Clearly I have forgotten how long it takes to get out of the house with a new baby. Just to get to PicknPay, which is literally across the road from our house, takes forever. I swear it’ll be quicker if I sent one of the dogs with a note and some cash to bring back the goods.

One Sunday I had a plan of action for the day. We would go to church, go to Checkers straight after the service because the toilet paper was on special. BabySoft hasn’t been R79.95 since forever. I wrote about our use of Toilet Paper here.

Then I wanted to stop at Woolworths because I have a gift voucher to pamper myself. And I had to change baby clothes because we had duplicates, a gift we received when I already bought the exact same outfit for Troll.

Well, this is how my plan of action actually went down:

We skipped Church because I just didn’t want to wake the sleeping baby. My 7 year old said “Mom you can just pray harder here at home.” Then my 7 year old took an eternity to get done. In between Troll kept feeding as if it was the end of the world. Me having a hissy fit because the 7 year old showers for an eternity and yet he is the first to preach that we should save water. Oh and then Dude, aka the husband, messages me that he needs to go to PicknPay after work but we should enjoy our outing. I responded that we were going nowhere slowly. At 11am I put Troll down for a nap. I hurriedly dust the bedrooms, get the eldest child dressed and ready for the day. I fold the clothes from the dryer and put the next load. I never hang the laundry. I tumble dry EVERYTHING. Even the ones that say DO NOT tumble dry. I take a quick shower. I nibble on some biltong because with a new baby you kinda forget to eat nevermind make a proper lunch. Then the 7 year old is calling for food. I waiting for Dude to get home from work, just to offer me a few minutes of respite. I look at the clock and think shit it’s only 12:35 but it feels like bedtime again.

Well that’s that. I ate some fruit and some yoghurt. I’ve learnt to stock up on food that you can snack on whilst breastfeeding or handling the baby…One-handed operations only. I never got to PicknPay, neither did I make it to Checkers or Woolworths. I sat down and realised shit I still wanted to go to Makro as well. What used to be a seamless operation now takes forever and a day, planning and coordinated movements…all just to get to the shops with two kids by my side.

I always pack two baby bags. One to take with us when we leave the house and an emergency backup if we need to rush out. My 7 year old always grabs snacks for the road, albeit just to PicknPay across the road. I kid you not. Dude will attest to that.

How do you manage with kid(s)? I only have two but some days it feels like I have twenty…

#thestruggleisreal

Spirited Mama

P.S. My 7 year old says “Mom if you don’t want to smell like the baby vomit just wash with water and soap and you can smell like you”. The honesty of this child sometimes…

 

The hours in my day

Hello, in this little Spirited Family, if you have read some of my posts, nothing is uneventful. Sometimes, I wonder if what is actually happening is real or a dream. By golly, I sometimes sit and reflect on our life and literally end up laughing out loud at some of the shit that happens. This family can be funny….but we are a herd and we love each other. That’s all that matters…

I’ve been MIA because life has been CRAY CRAY… me getting back to work after maternity leave, Troll starting at his daycare, me getting into a routine with the school run for 2 kids. WHOA! Who knew adding 1 little person can rock the boat that much. For most of it, we have fun in the mornings, even when I’m freaking out that we are running late. Some mornings it’s a screaming match. Some mornings we look like the Brady bunch.

But here’s a rundown of the day before I started working again:

The day started off fairly well. Dudie didn’t have too many issues getting up or getting ready for school. Dude sends me a message “Enjoy your last day at home”. I have been taking Troll to his daycare every morning for a week to get used to his new environment too. I generally sit in the office and watch him on the monitors fro an hour of so. Then we leave for home. After the school run, I dash back to Dudie’s school to buy books on his wishlist from the Travelling Bookshop. (I never carry cash so I had to go swipe my card myself – imagine me giving Dudie all that cash – Uhm I think NOT!). Then my Aunt calls to say they are in the city for a few hours, can we have a quick visit? I say sure but I have a few errands and will call when I’m home. Then Troll decides to be miserable and make a monster poop. I quickly calculate and decide we are only 5 km’s from home, let’s go home.

At home, I change Troll and give him a solid feed. I make myself a warm steaming cup of coffee. One of our dogs seems to think she is a cat. So the cat decided to become Houdini, and jumped the wall or escaped somehow… Troll decides to make an explosive poop AGAIN! I change him, and voila as I pick him up he vomits all over both of us. So I change him and myself… My phone keeps ringing. It’s the neighbour to tell me the dog is casually lying outside in front of their gate…WTF? How did she get there? I rush outside to take her back in. Give her a stern scolding and let it be.

Troll decides to nap and I think, fuck it, let me enjoy this coffee. Then the estate agent calls, she has a potential tenant for us but urgently needs the key to the flat. So I say ok I will bring the key in a bit. By now, it’s 11am and I now need to race all the way to the other end of Pretoria and drop the keys and then race back for Dudie’s pickup. Then I remembered I needed stuff for Troll. I pack up the sleeping baby and stop at Clicks. OMG!!!! This Clicks is becoming notorious for the lack of “efficient” customer service in the checkout queue. I’m not even kidding. They are by far the slowest I have ever seen.  Whether it is busy or not, they will work at the same snail pace as they usually do. Eventually, I am out of there and hitting the road. Why is it that when you are in a hurry seems everyone else is on a “go slow”?

I make it to the estate agent in record time. I didn’t even switch the car off. I just gave her the keys outside the estate. LOKL. Back in the car – thankfully Troll is sleeping through ALL of this. I rush to meet my family. I managed to hug and greet properly and down a Chai Latté in a few minutes. Ticked that off my list, now to rush to pick up Dudie. On route, I decide to pop a chocolate eclair sweet in my mouth. Now, this is NOT a sweet that you can eat very fast. I get to school and damn this sweet is still in my mouth. As I approach the gate, the teacher wants to talk to me and I can’t open my mouth as the damn sweet is now stuck between my top and bottom back molars… As I try to speak I have drool dripping on the side of my mouth. Thankfully, I just raised the baby to my right cheek and avoided a very embarrassing situation. As I collect Dudie, he announces that he needs to go back for his water bottles. I’m thinking of chaining the damn thing to him, as lately he just seems very blasé about its whereabouts…Well until I ask about it.

One more stop. We arrive at swimming school. Dudie has his lesson and I drift off whilst the other moms ooh and aah over Troll in the waiting area. Back in the car, I cover Troll with his warm blanket and tell Dudie to wrap himself with ALL his clothes. I put the aircon on full blast just so that I can stay awake whilst driving home.

I told Dude that if I am passed out by the time he gets home; it’s because I have had 25 days worth of crazy in one day.

Somedays I have this all sorted and some days…well it’s all CRAY CRAY.

Spirited Mama

P.S. Dudie tells me, “Mom if you don’t want to smell like the baby’s vomit just wash with soap and water”. Me: Thanks my child, I’ll remember that…

 

Dinner conversations

We are fortunate in the Spirited household that I work half day. Dudie and I get home anywhere between 13:00 – 15:00, depending on the extra mural activities for the day. EXCEPT on Fridays. We do not compromise our FRIDAY! We have no extra murals and all shopping excursions is left for any day of the week EXCEPT Friday!

Granted Dudie and I are home early during the day and generally Dude is home by 16:00 everyday. We get to have to have a family dinner roughly 18:00 -18:30, you know those ones we see on TV and think fcuk how do they eat that early everyday…well half day JOB = early family dinner time

Our dinner time conversations are roughly about catching up on each other’s day and reminding one another to look at our “schedules” on the board. I am OCD with schedules and lists…I don’t like MAJOR surprises or curveballs. I like to plan and know what’s happening. On most nights this is how it goes…

(This is how it plays off in Dude’s mind)

Me: blah blah blah…so the other kid at swimming blah

Dudie: (interrupts whilst I am still talking) Daddy can I tell you something? Blah blah Blah

Dude: Stares blankly and says WHOA one at a time.

My Dude basically has a hissy fit because we are talking simultaneously. Well let me just add that Dudie sometimes forget to wait until someone is done speaking before going off on a tangent with his own story. That boy will sometimes ask and answer the very question he has just posed to you.

I want to die everytime I have to repeat myself cos who listens to the mom/wife anyway? Dude is so guilty of this. he will literally look me in the eye and “listen” but 5 minutes later asked me  to repeat what I said cos he didn’t hear me….

Our dinner conversations are filled with fun and laughter but sometimes we prefer to have some quiet time too. BUt the other night the boys were cracking jokes. I moaned  the resident alien is super busy and kicking the daylights out of me. Dudie comes to check and gets a kick on the hand. I said everytime the resident alien moves I poke him. Dudie pipes up: So poke him! I snort laughed and sprayed them and the spinach rolls with coffee….which was in my mouth. I did apologise because being pregnant I constantly need to pee and a laugh/sneeze can make me pee my pants #pregnancyjoys Unfortunately for them I sprayed the coffee, fortunately for me I managed to hold my pee.

Oh and NO, there is still NO baby. This boy is making keeping us in suspense. Last week Wednesday, Dr was convinced things are happening, I.e. My cervix is softening and I was 1-2cm dialated. yesterday I walked around at Monte Casino. BUT NOTHING!!!

I will see the Dr later today and we will figure out what is happening with this boy.

Spirited Mama

My hips don’t lie

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Nope, I am NOT Shakira but damn my hips don’t lie either…I think this pregnancy is taking it’s toll on my body. Granted I am 7 years older than what I was with my first pregnancy. With Dudie I had a fairly easy going pregnancy after the ALL day sickness and vomiting for 6 months. I did have swollen feet then and I definitely have it NOW again, just it feels worse this time. Dudie drained my body of calcium and I had super sensitive teeth. Now the resident alien is draining my body of calcium and magnesium and even my slow mag supplement is NOT enough to keep up. Did I mention that the resident alien has given me 5 months of ALL day sickness and vomiting. Oh I love my boys but OMG they take morning sickness to a whole other level.

This morning at 3.am, as I was repositioning myself for the 5219th time as my hips are killing me and no amount of pillows are making it any better, I woke up with a sharp pain in my left calf. Instantly my calf muscle went into a spasm and it felt as if my calf was sitting right under my left butt cheek. I grabbed Dude by the arm, and basically slapping him on the chest all whilst screaming “Help Me” in the process. (Dude said that he got such a fright cos he thought WTF – he is being attacked. I think he just got a preview of the imminent birth of the resident alien..)He was awake in 2 seconds flat and said “what what”. I explained that my calf is in spasm so he proceeded to do a lift movement with my leg, if anyone walked into my room you would think I was busy with a body beat session. Somehow, the muscle started to relax and Dude of course just started snoring again.

Amidst all of the commotion, it took all of my might to restrain my pelvic floor muscles from relaxing because I needed to pee very badly. I hopped, yes I couldn’t step on that leg, to the bathroom and eventually got to empty my bladder, as one would do during a normal 3am pee break at #29weekspregnant.

I am pretty sure that I woke the entire neighbourhood this morning with my scream for help. As I sit here now, I can still feel how tender my muscle is. Let’s hope the slow mag kicks in quickly. My feet are swollen again, even though they are elevated…

It dawned on me that my mind might be young BUT my body is 7 years older with this pregnancy. Hope I can bounce back as quick as what I did with Dudie….

Spirited Mama

P.S. I have had this type of muscle spasm once before as young adolescent. I was asleep next to Mamma. The exact same experience only when I screamed for help, Mamma gave me a moerse slap on my thigh. I jumped out of bed so fast that my muscle just reset itself. Crisis averted thanks to Mamma’s unconventional ways…

Roundabouts

My life lately has felt like one big never ending roundabout. Somehow, I just felt out of sorts.

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But in all the events that have made me feel like I am stuck in a roundabout there has been some “memorable” moments too.

Yesterday I collect Dudie at school. I decide lets drive with ALL the windows open as there was a refreshing breeze. Well you had to drive slightly over the speed limit to enjoy that breeze. So we are homeward bound and Suddenly Dudie screams and I almost freaking stop in the middle of the road. Why did he scream as if someone was being murdered? Because the wind swept his school hat off his head and into the oncoming traffic.

Now, I have to calculate the risk of getting that school hat back, but that would mean I would have to run into oncoming traffic. Or I write off the hat and fork out another R130 for another school hat. School uniforms are crazy expensive. Why???

So I decide screw that let’s get that hat back. We make a u-turn at the next traffic light only to find the wind and traffic has now swept the hat back to the other side of the road. It’s 2pm traffic and people are crazy fast on this road. So we make a few u-turns because every time I get close to this hat it’s not in the spot where I last saw it. Also, I’m 28 weeks pregnant and need to take very calculated risks…so eventually I said screw this and park the bakkie on the island at the traffic light and jump out to pick up the hat. Hat recovered. Mom scores big time with the Dudie.

Fast forward until Dude walks in the door looking all glum…why because he can’t find his wallet ANYWHERE. He called a friend at work to please check if it’s not there. Said friend is at the gym and will only be able to check in about 30minutes or so. Oh and we live in Pretoria but he works in Johannesburg, so it’s not just quick drive back to work to check.

Now, I am writing exams on Friday and Dude and Dudie were supposed to collect the youngest dog, who got spayed cos we can’t deal with a newborn and puppies in 2017, but now he doesn’t have a single bank card or drivers license. So I say let’s move now cos I don’t want to be stuck in traffic and you know I need to study. With pregnant belly and all off we go.

Side note, I’m not sure if Dude gets a kick out of driving each and every vehicle we have until the reserve light comes on. I can’t comprehend this. Why? When we always have to be somewhere quickly we must first stop for petrol or diesel…..I digress

I stop for diesel. Then off to collect the dog at our trusted Vet, who is now closing his practice and immigrating. We have been with him for about 13 years. Where am I going to find such a great vet again. (On Wednesday evening After being discharged from hospital we quickly drop our dog at the vet. Receptionist is freaking out cos I had a weird look on my face as the resident alien just kicked my ribs and because I still wearing my hospital id band. She thought I was going into labour.) I settle the bill and we get the dog. Homeward bound.

On route Dude’s friend calls to say that he found his wallet and will keep it safe til the morning. As we get into the house, we (Dude) says there is enough leftovers for supper. I go try to study. I emerge from the room every now and then for some snacks or a drink. Then I announce I’m having a muffin and yoghurt for supper you guys need to sort yourselves out. The Dudie goes and checks the kitchen and very unamused announces Uh where’s the supper? Whilst checking the microwave and oven😂. Dudie settled on cream cheese and saltycrax. Dude settled on fish.

I go back to study, Dudie brings two of his favorite stuffed toys to help me. Then asks “Are you like doing sums? Or those words that you can see or touch uhm like nouns or is it the ones that hold  a place?” I figured he was referring to pronouns. This kid thinks I am clever but he forgets that I too attended school once upon a time, or back in the olden days like he calls it.

I asked Dudie if he wanted to help put some oil on my growing tummy but oh boy, this kid used about 1/3 Of the bottle on my tummy. If you dropped me into a deep fryer you could fry up 1 kilogram of calamari for the amount of oil on my tummy.

So even though I feel like I’m in a bit of a roundabout, I still have so many memorable moments with my spirited family. They keep me grounded. And they sure keep me entertained.

Happy Friday.

Spirited Mama

P.S. I think my exam went way better than anticipated this morning. Granted I didn’t get much sleep but I am taking a siesta right after I post this.

Admitted…

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I know, I know, “life is what happens when you making other plans…John Lennon”.

I find it rather ironic that I am in hospital and my bag and the resident alien’s bag is no where near being packed. I can already hear Mamma telling me that as soon as I get home I’d better pack my bag as well as the resident alien’s bag.

Side note: Somewhere in my 8th month of pregnancy with Dudie, I was admitted to hospital. No bags packed. Nothing. As soon as I got home, Mamma made me pack our bags just in case.

Well currently I am #27weeks pregnant and was admitted yesterday. I can hear Mamma tell me to pack our bags already.

Guess what I will be doing when I get home. I need to get a hospital bag🤔🙄

And over the weekend Dude was saying that we still have loads of time before the baby arrives. Really? I think we all got a wake up call. We need to be prepared…

I am in private room in hospital. I am actually grateful because I think I need the solitude right now.

Spirited Mama

P.S. There is still so much that needs to be done. I am not quite ready yet….

Paint me like a….

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So yesterday the Dude gets home and is now ready to paint the resident alien’s, aka new baby’s, room. Granted we bought paint a few weeks ago. We even have new paint for our bedroom. Baby room Plascon Double velvet – a soft powdery blue, our room Dulux Colours of the World – Soulful Kenya.

Dude starts painting whilst I’m starting dinner. Something nudges me to go check if the stuff is covered in the room. I get there….and I say as calm as possible uhm what are you doing?”

Granted when I have “that” calm voice you should run because that is when I actually want to use some profanity but I digress and keep calm. Ironically, Dude chose the paint for the baby room. I had a general idea of the color but he chose the final product.

What did he do? He painted the baby room with our paint, the Soulful Kenya colour. Thankfully it was only half of the one wall.

I walked away and laughed it off as I continued in the kitchen.

He did fix it. And now the resident alien’s room is looking very nice. He also started painting our room. I would say with touch ups and finishes here and there we should have two newly painted rooms before the end of this week.

I am excited because frankly a fresh coat of paint is like a whole new room all together. Now to get some decor for the baby room.

Yes, you may laugh out loud. I told you before these things really happen in Spiritville. I do not make these things up.

Spirited Mama

P.S. So the USA got TRUMPED! I am gobsmacked.