Kids get sick

Kids get sick at the most inopportune times in OUR lives. It will either be in the wee hours of the morning, or at school, or weekends, or on holiday, etc. Isn’t is just incredible how kids make a miraculous recovery whilst you are sitting in the Paediatric waiting area? Please tell me it is NOT just my kids who do this. They are happy and playing when we are at the doctor but limp fish and half dead when you have them at home…

Maz, from Caffeineandfairydust, wrote a post earlier this year that resonated with me.

To The Mom Sending Her Sick Kids To School…And Everyone Else

I know some parents have NO alternative but to send their sick kids to school but dammit it aint fair on the rest who are trying to keep their kids in good health. I empathise with both parents, the parent sending the sick kid to school as well as the parent trying to keep their kid healthy. With Dudie we used to rotate who would stay home so that we don’t exhaust one parent’s leave only. And also not to piss of the employer that one parent is staying out of work all the time.

I remember spending more time than I would have liked at the Emergency Room with Dudie. And thankfully now that he is 7 years old I think we’ve only had two ER visits in a long time.

Troll is in daycare. Fortunately, it’s only half day. But that still makes him susceptible to the germs around him for the few hours that he is there. Thank goodness we have a policy at work in OUR department, Family comes First.

Last month whilst I was on study leave, I dropped Troll at 07:35 only to pick him up again at 10:20. They called to say that he had a fever. With the long weekend coming up, I didn’t want to take any chances and end up at ER for the weekend. I took him to the paed and thankfully it was only a secondary infection but it was enough to warrant an antibiotic…

SO that is how Thursday started. And so we went through our long weekend nursing Troll, who woke hourly every night without fail. This was as exhausting as it was painful. Troll has an excellent night time routine. He cluster feeds from 4pm, then it’s bath time at 7pm and bedtime by 7:30PM. Then he will sleep for 7-9 hours straight. Imagine after such an incredible routine you now suddenly have to wake every hour during the night. Do you see why it was painful? By Sunday Dude and I were walking zombies. We would take turns and just pass Troll from one to the other.

Thankfully Troll got better and by Monday night he was back to his normal routine. I did say “Thank you JESUS” aloud a few times. In fact, I say “Thank you JESUS” every night when I swaddle Troll after his bath, put him in his bed and switch the lights off and just walk out the room. 9 out of 10 times he will be asleep within 2-5 minutes. If not, he normally just needs to be burped again and put down.

Our kids got sick, both Dudie and Troll. Then as luck would have it, when they were fully recovered the parents were sick. For the entire month of June, it is like we were playing musical chairs with someone always being sick. Everyone one got better, except me… I’ve been nursing “something” all this time. It’s not quite enough to get a doctor’s appointment but it is also not going unnoticed… I’m gatvol of feeling like this. Then last week I was better, in fact I was doing great. BUT that something was lying dormant, just waiting for me to let my guard down.

As soon as my exams were done and I could finally just sleep like a “normal” person BAM! I was sick AGAIN! And then Murphy seems to be in my red zone, Troll is sick too… Oh My Lawd…I can’t. I just can’t. For my own sanity, on Saturday I co-slept with Troll. We both got some much needed rest. In fact, we only woke up at 8:51 on Sunday morning.

I do think that Troll will need some meds, so guess where we are this morning. Yep, the paediatrician’s waiting room. I must add that I do love this doctor. He is so gentle with ALL the kids and so very thorough. And just in case Mom isn’t feeling ok, he will happily give mom a quick check and prescription too. It’s a win win situation.

What I would like to know is:

  1. Do you send your sick kid(s) to school?
  2. How do you feel about parents sending sick kid(s) to school?

I have been on both ends of the stick. I was the parent dropping a sick kid and I am now the parent getting pissed off seeing sick kids at school. I know what it feels like to drop a sick child. We live in a different province than our families. So we don’t have the support that most of my family has, who lives within close proximity to the family. We, i.e. Dude and I, have to do everything, be everyone etc…I also know what I feel like walking into Troll’s class and I see snotty faces. I cringe and immediately wipe their faces. Yep, I wipe the other kids’ faces. Whilst cuddling Troll, I quietly tell myself to calm the fuck down because perhaps those parents had NO ALTERNATIVE.

Yes, it’s annoying to have a sick child but then again if need be, I can always take Troll home or to my office. I do think that it builds their immunity to catch a few germs here and there but within reason of course. I am fortunate to work in an environment that is “family” and “kid” friendly. Well just in my department, not in the Institution as a whole.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have an alternative, whatever it may be. So for now, I smile as Troll looks like he has made a miraculous recovery in the Paediatrician’s room but will most likely be limp by bedtime tonight. Both Troll and I are fine for most of the day but as soon as dusk starts setting in, we become “sick”… what is this sorcery?

I’m pretty sure we can debate the topic about whether or not to send sick kids to school until kingdom come…I think we all just need to chill out and cut one another some slack! I see the mom, who is pregnant and battling to hawl her kid from car to classroom all whilst huffing and puffing and looking a little under the weather herself. I see the parent, who is embarrassed to drop the “sick” kid too. I also see the parent who is fuming because someone at school is sick.

Happy Monday! I feel like crap! I need to go nurse my Troll.

Spirited Mama

 

 

Derailed and binge drinking

Not me…the baby…Troll is binge drinking. At first I thought it was growth spurts but it has become a daily occurrence and I guess this is just what he does. I really think I should just connect the tube from my breast pump directly from breast to Troll…

My plans are being DERAILED. Clearly I have forgotten how long it takes to get out of the house with a new baby. Just to get to PicknPay, which is literally across the road from our house, takes forever. I swear it’ll be quicker if I sent one of the dogs with a note and some cash to bring back the goods.

One Sunday I had a plan of action for the day. We would go to church, go to Checkers straight after the service because the toilet paper was on special. BabySoft hasn’t been R79.95 since forever. I wrote about our use of Toilet Paper here.

Then I wanted to stop at Woolworths because I have a gift voucher to pamper myself. And I had to change baby clothes because we had duplicates, a gift we received when I already bought the exact same outfit for Troll.

Well, this is how my plan of action actually went down:

We skipped Church because I just didn’t want to wake the sleeping baby. My 7 year old said “Mom you can just pray harder here at home.” Then my 7 year old took an eternity to get done. In between Troll kept feeding as if it was the end of the world. Me having a hissy fit because the 7 year old showers for an eternity and yet he is the first to preach that we should save water. Oh and then Dude, aka the husband, messages me that he needs to go to PicknPay after work but we should enjoy our outing. I responded that we were going nowhere slowly. At 11am I put Troll down for a nap. I hurriedly dust the bedrooms, get the eldest child dressed and ready for the day. I fold the clothes from the dryer and put the next load. I never hang the laundry. I tumble dry EVERYTHING. Even the ones that say DO NOT tumble dry. I take a quick shower. I nibble on some biltong because with a new baby you kinda forget to eat nevermind make a proper lunch. Then the 7 year old is calling for food. I waiting for Dude to get home from work, just to offer me a few minutes of respite. I look at the clock and think shit it’s only 12:35 but it feels like bedtime again.

Well that’s that. I ate some fruit and some yoghurt. I’ve learnt to stock up on food that you can snack on whilst breastfeeding or handling the baby…One-handed operations only. I never got to PicknPay, neither did I make it to Checkers or Woolworths. I sat down and realised shit I still wanted to go to Makro as well. What used to be a seamless operation now takes forever and a day, planning and coordinated movements…all just to get to the shops with two kids by my side.

I always pack two baby bags. One to take with us when we leave the house and an emergency backup if we need to rush out. My 7 year old always grabs snacks for the road, albeit just to PicknPay across the road. I kid you not. Dude will attest to that.

How do you manage with kid(s)? I only have two but some days it feels like I have twenty…

#thestruggleisreal

Spirited Mama

P.S. My 7 year old says “Mom if you don’t want to smell like the baby vomit just wash with water and soap and you can smell like you”. The honesty of this child sometimes…

 

My proverbial death

Well in 2016, I took a leap in faith and decided that if it is in God’s plan for us to have another baby then we will. I left it in God’s hands. I am a control freak but this was the one decision that I knew I couldn’t make on my own. I needed intervention but I needed God’s intervention, as I just wasn’t sure if we were making the right decision. Turns out God wanted us to have another son. I was nervous as hell as I pee’d on a stick…do you know that both times Dude predicted I was pregnant before I realised it. And he was spot on both times. Maybe he knew something I didn’t. In 2016 when I saw those two lines I was shocked that I didn’t believe it to be true. Dude set out to buy a digital test and it was confirmed again. I was pregnant. If I could do my own blood test I would have.

Fast forward to 2017 and we welcomed our resident alien, another son richer. For the sake of this blog we will call him “Troll” as Dude has dubbed him. A blessing indeed. Life as we knew it changed completely. As much as I tried to prepare my oldest son, Dudie who is 7years old, I neglected to prepare myself…Suddenly, there was a new man in my life who needed me. Every ounce of me. Day and night. To say that I’m tired or even exhausted is an understatement. How did I neglect to prepare myself. Well that was so easy. Whilst helping everyone else make the transition and preparing the baby room I kinda got so wrapped up in it all that I never took a moment to understand or even allow myself to embrace this new change. I was ecstatic and consumed with the happy that I never allowed myself to say goodbye to the old me. Much like I didn’t do 7 years ago when Dudie was born. No one can prepare you for motherhood. Well not for YOUR unique individual experience as a parent.

Troll weighed 4kg at birth. I shit you not. Me, I birthed a 4kg baby…I might do a separate post about it. I didn’t struggle to lose the baby weight as Troll literally suck me dry. But who was I kidding trying to wear my push  up underwire bra….it’s a killer especially when your boobs fill up with milk.

Who knew I would sing “Jesus loves me” a gazillion trillion times….cos the baby seems calmer when I sing it. And 75% of time he drifts off to sleep listening to my singing. Maybe I could make a career out of it on You Tube…one can wish can’t I.

I am breastfeeding mom. Was with Dudie too. But my golly these kids of mine can suck me dry. Sometimes I think my body can’t keep up with their milk demand. Dudie breastfed exclusively for 5months then went on a boob strike and from then I expressed for a further 3 months. Then I was done, my hopes of breastfeeding for a year didn’t quite materialise. Troll is also being breastfed currently. If we can make it to 6 months I’d be happy but If we can last 1 year that’ll be great.

Just as with Dudie, I am back in my normal old clothes again very soon after having Troll. But I have a tummy roll. Omg the dreaded roll. Dudie asked me the other day when the lines on my tummy will disappear. I responded with “Never. It reminds me that I have you and your brother”. And he also asked if I store Troll’s milk in my boobies…this child of mine has no filter…but I love him.

There have been dark days where both kids have drove me completely batty. Especially during Dudie’s school run. Someone is always hungry. Someone always poops as we need to leave. Someone is always unhappy about something.

Then there have been great days where Dudie is showered and ready whilst I’ve still got Troll stuck on my boob. Everyone is happy and the morning is as smooth as baby shit.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. I love being a mom. I just think that I need to stop being so hard on myself. But how can I. How can I drop my own standards. If mom doesn’t do xyz, the wheels on the bus go STOP. If mom doesn’t cook then chances are we WON’T eat supper by 6pm which then means Dudie is in the snack cupboard and snacking like a savage dog.

How am I the only one seeing that if we break out of routine the shit hits the fan?

Let’s not even get started on Dudie’s homework, oral presentations, projects etc…he is only in grade 2 and I swear this child’s homework will be the end of me. We fight and there have been times where I relieve myself from homework duty but I end up with a 7 year old crying his eyes out cos he needs me. His words exactly. He needs me. Mommy must do homework with him.

Being a mom to my two boys is a blessing and yes I am extremely greatful. BUT this mom needs a break. This mom needs a mom retreat. Soon. Before I lose my marbles. I have so many draft posts that I just don’t get around to finishing right now. Life is so busy. And when I have a few minutes to spare you can bet your pennies I’ll be hurriedly busy trying to finish something, read housework, cos otherwise that too just piles up. Life lately is consumed with laundry. Everyday. I kid you not. You can stop over anyday and I bet you will find the washing machine on or the tumble dryer or the load waiting to be washed. Whoever came up with the idea that mom needs to sleep when the baby sleeps was either completely insane or most likely had someone to do each and everything that comes with running a household and family….

I am NOT  the same person I used to be. In fact I am a new me. I’m not even sure I want the old me back but I do know that I miss snippets of the old me. Somewhere when Dudie turned 5 I felt like a person again. Not just a mom. Now throw in the Troll and it feels like I’m back to being just “Mom”.

I get that there are Dads who are very hands on, and granted Dude does help ALOT at home. But what is up with the “mom guilt”? Why can Dad decide to go fish and sleep out with his buddies but if Mom says she is NOT coming home tonight it’s the end of the world? Happy mom happy family right?

Do you do mom retreats?

I’m going to start my own trend #momcation

Spirited Mama

P.S. Troll is 14 weeks old already…where have I been these past 14 weeks??? Feels like a dream.

When you live up to your name…

Do you know what your child’s name means? Did you choose it or did you give someone else the honour of naming your child or children? Did you choose his/her name before they were born? Or are you one of those parents who waited until your child was born, to see what “name” they looked like?

I have 2 sons. Dudie is now 7 years old and the new baby is currently 3 weeks going on 4. I can’t believe how quickly the past three weeks have flown by. Where is time rushing to?

When I was pregnant with Dudie, my Dude and I discussed several names. With both pregnancies our kids were planned. We had a few options but none that really resonated and made me feel “aaahhh that’s the name of my child”. Dude is the 4th generation of family names and when Dudie was in utero I decided that we will not continue the tradition. Don’t worry Dude was totally on board with the decision. One day on my commute to work I sought of had an epiphany. Now I am not the very religious type but I do believe in God and I do regard myself as a Christian. Somehow I had a sense of something around me and I knew in that moment that my child’s name was “Joshua”. Nowhere had I ever dreamt or intended for my child/children to have biblical names. But that feeling was so strong and reassuring that I knew he is destined to be “Joshua”.

Some might know and for those who don’t, for a very very very long time I was convinced that Joshua would be my only child. Albeit that I had relatively fuss free pregnancy and what many believe to be an easy birth too. But in 2015, Dude threw me a curveball wanting or rather longing for another baby. I wasn’t quite ready. I wasn’t convinced. And the whole baby thing was left hanging. I spent alot of time considering having another baby. Many people commented that its because I waited so long. The gap is too big. Blah blah blah… I always knew that I was not cut out to have two babies close in age… I couldn’t handle the thought of two nappy bags, bottles, diapers, etc.

Dude is very supertitious. When I told him that our first born’s name is Joshua, he told me that he needed to think about it and thoroughly do his research. He is a firm believer that one lives up to your name. It took him a while to agree that we will name our first son Joshua.

Joshua means “God saves”. Joshua was and still is my happy child. When we looked into the meaning of his name it described my child to the core. We have witnessed how Joshua has transformed our extended families. We have witnessed how Joshua has impacted our families and brought them together. This child is a hellavu kind of special person and I know he is destined to be great, no matter what he does, no matter what he chooses to be one day.

I joked about how if we ever had another child he will be Noah. Never did I imagine that it would be a reality. But in 2017, 2 weeks earlier than anticipated, we welcomed Noah into our little family. From the onset he crept into my heart and I reAlised that indeed I had a sense of longing, just as much as Dude, for Noah. Dudie is as happy as a pig in mud about having a brother. He is super proud and completely “in love” just like us with Noah.

Noah means rest and comfort. Even though he can make his voice as loud and clear as any baby, he is a peaceful child. It is yet to be seen if he lives up to his name but already he has brought comfort into our souls…

Ironically, I named both our boys, and both have Hebrew names. First and middle names but Dude did add the SURNAME😂

Little did I know that this is my destiny. My family feels complete. It’s me and my guy and our boys ❤️

This is my legacy.

This is my BEST life.

 

Spirited Mama

p.s. The sign featured is one that I bought for Dudie to hang in his bedroom.