I’m bruised

So I recently started following Things I can’t say and you definitely need to read about Pour your heart out. I can’t keep up with the reading. Everytime I go there I get that “Ah ha” moment or that feeling of deja vu, as if I just said that to myself in my head.

<I tend to talk to myself. A.LOT.>

So today I’m pouring my heart out, albeit anonymously.

My Dude and I, up until yesterday, were not in a good space. We were simply surviving. We were not enjoying each other, all because of the space/mind frame I was in. He has happily pointed out to me that I go through certain cycles, i.e.

1. happy/ecstatic the world can vanish around me and I would be feeling great

2. The ok/I’m fine transition

3. The Sulky/Moody put on my boxing gloves ‘cos I’m ready for a fight bitch

4. The Bitchy/depro phase

On Tuesday morning he said, you’re heading down that road of sulky/bitchy phase.distint time frame between them> Of course, it was my bright idea to ask him to point it out so that I can try to pull myself out of it. But because he did this, I felt vulnerable. Like he’s only pointing out the negative

fck up mind-set. I don’t do it deliberately but before I know it I’m thinking about the negatives again>

I felt bruised. I’m still somewhat tender but I need to put on my big girl panties and deal with Life. We had a very very lengthy discussion about this and hopefully my mind will do what I intend for it to do. So for now, I’m bruised but at least we’ve acknowledge this flaw in  my personality and I’m trying to fix this.

So go check out, Things I can’t say because it just might be what you need today.

P.S. Shell you have no idea how this has helped me already

P.P.S. She’s got some awesome giveaways too. Not sure if South Africans can enter but I will anyway 🙂

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