What not to do whilst driving…

1. Do not adjust the seat whilst driving!  seriously, wait until you can stop at a garage/parking lot.

So my husband buys a fancy double cab and I’m quite comfortable driving and parking it. Then one morning as I left the driveway, I realised that I was not seated comfortably and needed to adjust the seat. I assess the situation and decide that I’ll do it at the traffic light which is 700m away. Bonus – light is red when I get there. Now to figure out how to adjust the fkn seat with all these levers around me. I touch something and fall back. I mean I was flat on my back. Cracking myself, just lying there with tears streaming down my face as I LOL’d at myself. In the mean time the light had changed and there was a queue behind me. No one dared to hoot/or be impatient as everyone just stared at this bakkie standing at the traffic light, locked and idling, but no driver in sight!True story.

2. Do not wipe your hands with wet wipes!

So as I leave the Daycare centre, I back out of the parking lot and realise that my hands are sticky. Not sure why but as a parent I find this happens often with me having no recollection of why my hands are stickY! So as I’m driving in an extremely busy road, I reach for the wet wipes. I wipe. And then suddenly the cars in front of me come to a screeching holt! I step on the clutch & brake and grab the gear lever hoping to put the car in neutral. FAST. Total fail as my hands were still wet. My hand slip over the gear lever and the car is now jerking and revving. I quickly rub my hands on my seat and apologise to all the other drivers who looked me probably thinking – “new driver”! In fact I’ve had my licence for yrs now.

3. Do not remove shoes whilst driving!

I consider myself a good driver. remeber this is my opinion> I can drive with shoes/bare feet/boots/slops/stilettos – really it makes no difference to me. But one day I had this damn itchy feeling under my foot which I really really needed to scratch immediately! So whilst driving I think cool it’s a straight road and I could just casually remove the left shoe and scratch foot. Win – win situation. N.O.T. As I’m removing my shoe I realise that I need to make a left turn to take the onramp to the highway. So I try to manoeuvre my hand to the gear lever and my foot (with the shoe half on/half off) to the clutch to gear down and take the ramp. OMG! My shoe bends over backward and get stuck so my foot can’t reach the clutch. I decide Fck it! I rip the gear lever with so much force that I didn’t need to use the clutch for a gear shift. I have not and probably try that again.

These are my personal experiences. Do not try this at home.

If you have to try it please make sure that you do it under “adequate” supervision.

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